Oral History Interview with Jessica Garza

[Interview Begins]

SPRAGUE: Today is March 20th, 2023. This is an interview with Jessica Garza, who served in the United States Army from October 8th to September 2016. The interview is being conducted by Luke Sprague at the Tippecanoe branch of the Milwaukee Public Library for the I Am Not Invisible project as part of the Wisconsin Veterans Museum Oral History Program. No one else is present in the room. Okay, Jessica, if you could tell us a little bit about where you grew up.

GARZA: Okay. Well, my name is Jessica Garza. I was born in Altus, Oklahoma on Air Force Base because my father was in the Air Force. So, I'm a military brat. From Oklahoma, we did live in Portugal for a little bit and then got stationed in Valdosta, Georgia. So, that's where I basically say I grew up at, is in South Georgia. From there, my dad retired out of the Air Force and we stayed there in 00:01:00Berrien County and I always looked up to my dad for being in the military, providing for us, watching him being able to travel for different countries and all these cool little gifts he'd have for us. So, I looked up to that and decided I wanted to join. I originally was going to join the Air Force, but they turned me down and then I got recruited by the Army and signed up for there. And it was really fast going from there.

SPRAGUE: Did you have any other family members other than your father who were in?

GARZA: No.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Okay. What were your-- Did you have any other reasons other than that your father had been in?

GARZA: The town I grew up in was like a small, little hick town, and I didn't 00:02:00want to be stuck there, honestly. I didn't think I fitted in very well. Back then, it was a little bit more racism going on between, like, Mexicans. I'm Hispanic, Latina, and there wasn't many of us there. So, I wanted to get out and adventure and, you know, explore everything, the world. And that's what I did. And it was scary, but I did it.

SPRAGUE: Did you-- was that a connection that you had with your father and having lived in Portugal and thinking, if I join the military, I'll get to travel maybe?

GARZA: Yeah, that was my first thought, like, military traveling. But I soon learned it's not just about that. [laughs]

SPRAGUE: So, when did you enlist?

GARZA: Let's see, probably around the fall of 2008, right after high school. I graduated when I was seventeen, went to college for a semester, didn't like 00:03:00college too much, so I wanted to join military, and I did just do something different. Joined October 8th and then got sent out October 16th. And from there I traveled from bus to Fort Jackson, South Carolina for basic training. And that was fun. [laughs]

SPRAGUE: Okay. So, I have to ask before we get to Fort Jackson, my favorite place, is what did your family say? How did your family react?

GARZA: My dad was happy for me. Of course, you know, military. My mom was really sad. I'm her only daughter. It's just me and my brother. So, to leave the nest right away was something big for us. But it's something I needed to do. But after a little bit, they were very proud of me, especially after basic training. You know, the graduation. Just seeing how proud they were of me was, I don't 00:04:00know, it's a good feeling. And my brother being proud of me, too. So, it was good.

SPRAGUE: Was your brother in or later--?

GARZA: No, my brother never served in the military. He's still in South Georgia. [laughs]

SPRAGUE: Okay.

GARZA: So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: So, you get to Fort Jackson on the bus. Tell me about that.

GARZA: I didn't know anybody. I was scared. I was a little-- see, seventeen. I was eighteen, just turned eighteen and with a lot of other females and there were males there, too. So, it was a cross males and females. Just hearing the drill sergeants scream at you and telling us to pick up our duffel bags and fit them over our head and then dumping them is just something I've never experienced. Like, oh my God, it was just crazy. I don't hear of it now. I hear they've gotten a lot softer, but I don't know because I haven't been in in a 00:05:00long time. But back then, it was a lot of yelling and a lot of PT because if one person got in trouble then we all had to do stuff, pushups, a lot of pushups, oh my God. So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: Any particular drill sergeants that you remember?

GARZA: Drill Sergeant Hughes and Drill Sergeant Martinez were my first ever military experience with drill sergeants. And they were awesome. Drill Sergeant Hughes was a short African American man, but he was really tough. And I think I'll always remember him and Martinez. Martinez, he was a Hispanic male, too. So, it was good being able to be led by someone who is Hispanic in the field. And then both of them being males, you know, training the females, I thought was different at the time, too. But it was good experience pushing us for the better of ourselves.

SPRAGUE: Give me both your worst experience at basic and your best experience at basic.

GARZA: I think my best experience at basic was the people I met and the lifelong friendship I have with them. I'm still best friends with one of them that I met. Her name was Ball, but she just changed it. But that was probably the best is meeting the people and experiencing stuff that I didn't think I could do. I think the worst experience out of basic would probably have to be getting into a cycle of going to sleep at nighttime, you know, between a certain lights out time and then waking up super early, having to crease the sheets on your bed to make sure everything is right, them doing inspections and going through all your personal stuff. I'm not used to someone going through my drawers, looking at my, you know, everything. You got your underwear and bras and shower stuff, looking for anything that's contraband. Cell phones at the time weren't allowed in 00:07:00basic, so I felt like it was invasion of privacy. But it helped me understand a lot of the military stuff. But there's some other stuff that wasn't too fun, the twelve-mile ruck marches and every day PT. But it makes you a better person and made me stronger and made me get fit. So, overall, I think it was a really good experience.

SPRAGUE: Any other things that it brought out in you or you learned in basic that you--?

GARZA: That I can do a lot of stuff, even though I don't think-- or I didn't think I could. Like, there's nothing that you really can't do. You're just mentally telling yourself that you can't do it. You just got to mentally prepare yourself and tell yourself, okay, you got this. If you're scared of heights, you're going off that huge tower rappelling off of it. You're going to do it. So, you learn to face your fears in there.

SPRAGUE: So, you had mentioned graduation. Tell me a little bit about that with 00:08:00your parents.

GARZA: Oh, graduation was fun and emotional. I'm a very emotional person. We practiced a couple of days before and up to that day, marching in sync with everybody else, parade dress and attention and all that fun stuff that you do in the military when you're waiting in line or in formation. But I think afterwards, after they did the smoke bombs of all these wonderful colors and represented our units. Just seeing my mom and dad and brother, I think like, we all cried because it was a big milestone for me. It's like the first thing I've ever done on my own. I've always had my mom and dad for me, helping me do stuff. So, seeing that I accomplished boot camp was a big deal for us. And then, of course, my dad being proud because his little girl joined the military at that, 00:09:00and it was the Army. So, it was a good experience. I think that's the-- that was probably the proudest and happiest I've ever seen my family all together. Besides when I deployed, before I deployed. So, yeah, it was good.

SPRAGUE: So, after that, did you immediately go to AIT?

GARZA: I did. I had maybe like, a week or two of leave, and I spent it with my family, I believe, if I'm thinking right. Then I went to AIT. I did sign up to be a 68 [inaudible], which was a pharmacy specialist or technician. I thought that's what I wanted to do. But I got to Fort Sam Houston, where usually the medical field is, and I did a couple weeks of that and I ended up failing out, honestly. It's not that I chose something different. I wasn't good with math and all the numbers, so they said they'd figure out something else for me to do, and 00:10:00I decided to go 42 alpha route, which is Human Resources. And they got me in that program. And from Fort Sam, I went back to Fort Jackson [laughs], back to where it all started to start my career there. And that was a fun time. But Fort Sam was also good, too. A good learning experience, meeting many people there also. They're lifelong friends again. That happens a lot in military. You meet these people who end up being like family to you and the bond you have with them is just lifelong.

SPRAGUE: So, you're back at Fort Jackson. What do you remember out of the 42 Alpha training that sticks out in your head?

GARZA: Oh, a lot of computer training. [Laughs] Lots of computer training. And I think the number one thing that sticks out in my head for that is just one particular soldier who ended up being a really good friend of mine. But he 00:11:00passed away more than a couple of years ago. So, that's really the only top thing that comes to mind right now from school, just studying and being on top of my game, not worrying about failing. So, trying to make sure I don't fail out again. And I was more paid attention to my work there than I was about having fun or meeting anybody.

SPRAGUE: What was the discipline or the regiment like at AIT?

GARZA: You couldn't go off post at all. There was like, levels to it. If you first get there, you have to abide by some rules, strict areas you can and can't go to, after a couple of months and if you're doing good, of course, you don't get in trouble, you're allowed to go to other places. I know there's a couple of friends and me, we went to restaurants in The Hacienda is what it was called, it 00:12:00was a local hangout for all of us. So, that was fun. It was like a reward. Like, after so many weeks, if you're doing good, you get an award and you get to expand your boundary of where you get to go. So, that was always something to look forward to, the phases. And then at the end, the end phase, you're basically able to go wherever off post and still come to class as long as you're doing well and not getting in trouble. So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: Tell me about your first duty station.

GARZA: Oh, my God, I love my first duty station. I really did. It was in Camp Humphreys, South Korea. They were building it up at the time back in 2009 I think is when I got there. And it was awesome. From there I got to experience Korea. We went to the DMV to right where the border is, the DMV? DMZ?

SPRAGUE: DMZ, yeah.

GARZA: The DMZ. [Laughs] So, we went there. We got to be right there at the border where you could see North Korea. I was told from friends that they don't allow that anymore. So, being able to experience that at the time didn't mean much. But now looking back, it's like, wow, I really got to experience things that soldiers don't get experience nowadays because of how bad it is right now with all these other countries. So, seeing that, being at Camp Humphreys, Camp Casey, Seoul was awesome and very high tech. So that, Osan Air Force Base was really nice, for the Air Force there. My unit, I was with the 2 [Cav??] Combat Aviation Brigade, was really good. I worked for the S-1 over there and everybody was nice to me. And I went through some stuff while I was in Korea with some 00:14:00higher ups. Basically, some higher ups, they do take advantage of you if you are female and being in my shoes, not wanting to get in trouble or afraid to say no to someone, that they're going to demote you or make your life a living hell. So, I dealt with some of that stuff there in Korea. But at the same time, it's like, I was good at hiding, hiding it, too, just to basically get on with the day. And then in the end, my shop was amazing. Lifelong friends again. They're doing the in and out processing for other soldiers, helping them, just seeing what kind of impact you have on them was overall an accomplishment for me, 00:15:00helping people with their paperwork, their SGLI and updating their records to make sure that they are good, just in case anything does happen, or just for promotions, statuses, like they have to have everything in order. That's what we did in there and it was good to do that. But there was also, you know, a good side to it and the bad side to it.

SPRAGUE: So, your tour at Camp Humphreys, was it accompanied or unaccompanied?

GARZA: Unaccompanied. I was a single female. So, I didn't have nobody to take with me. I did end up meeting somebody there, but that soldier was living a double life, and I didn't find out until I came back stateside. So, that was hard, along with the other bad stuff that was going on there.

SPRAGUE: What did you like in particular about being in Korea?

GARZA: The culture. It was awesome to see how they lived there. They live so 00:16:00close together and then how high tech some of the other areas were compared to like, the village right by Camp Humphreys. Seeing how advanced they were and the stuff they ate, the food they ate, little silkworms and just random stuff I would have never thought until I got there and got to experience it and how cheap a lot of the stuff was. Like, stuff that we're paying for hundreds of dollars, they offer it for cheaper in other countries and it's good there.

SPRAGUE: What was it like being away from your family?

GARZA: It sucked. It sucked because, like I said, it's my first time being away from my family and I never really had too many friends. But pros and cons to everything, the con being away from my family, me and my mom were always close. 00:17:00And I think it made the bond stronger between us being away because we try to stay in contact more. So, there was that. Missing out on holidays, events. So, that really played a toll on everything. But I was sort of used to it, too, because we never really saw our family besides my mom, dad and brother. We only visit my family once a year if that in Texas and then other than that, it's just mom, dad and my brother. And it was just letting go of that part of my life, from the little girl to, okay, military woman trying to figure out her life, but living that single fun soldier life, too. So, it was fun. But I had people there who helped me take my mind off all the sadness.

SPRAGUE: What did you do in your downtime at Humphreys?

GARZA: My roommate and me, she was awesome. We'd always find something to do out in the barracks, play video games, play sports. Gym was a big thing, trying to stay in shape, exploring Korea. That was another big thing. We had a friend who was married in Korea, so we went to their house a lot off-post and they cooked for us, so we can have something other than the DFAC food that was served to us. So that and then, like I said, just exploring and seeing the parts of Korea that we could.

SPRAGUE: Did you have any chances to ride the trains at all?

GARZA: Yes, that was fun. [Laughs] That was my first time on an underground train subway thing. That was my first time. And I was scared at first because I 00:19:00thought I was gonna get lost or something bad was going to happen. Seeing movies where people are on trains and they get kidnapped or something. I just thought the worst, but it was actually really fun. It was a little confusing trying to figure out where it's taking you. But you find out eventually, you figure it out, but they go really fast and it gets you from point A to point B and not having to deal with traffic or anything. So, I loved it. That was a great experience.

SPRAGUE: Help me out here, is there a particular town outside of Camp Humphreys or what is it?

GARZA: We called it just the Ville.

SPRAGUE: The Ville. [Laughs] Okay.

GARZA: Yeah, we just called it the Ville. It's just right outside the post. You got to go through security and is like a-- it reminded me of a big alley. Just a big alley with the buildings on the sides. And it was small. Other than that, we went to Osan a lot, which was a little farther down the road. So, Osan was the place to be for us to the Air Force base because it was nicer than ours.

SPRAGUE: Did you have any Korean nationals who worked on post?

GARZA: Yes, we did. We did. And we had Korean soldiers work with us. Katusans? Katusans, I think, is what they were called, and it was a great experience working with them. The language barrier was really cool and seeing how they work to work with us, you know, with their English, was a really-- an educational experience, learning their language too, and them learning ours. With that, one of my work friends, he was Korean, Katusan, and we went to, at the end of my tour there, we ended up going to his house where his family did a dinner for our whole shop. And it was like, you're sitting on the floor and then they bring out all these different kinds of food and it's just like little bits of everything, 00:21:00you know, the kimchi and just everything. I love the kimchi there. So, that was, I think that's what I remember the most from Korea and the Katusans, that. I did get an award from them, from the Katusans, from working side by side with them. And it was good. I'm still friends with him, too. [laughs]

SPRAGUE: What was your favorite type of kimchi?

GARZA: The cucumber kimchi.

SPRAGUE: [Laughs]

GARZA: Yes. I love the cucumber kimchi. I don't like spicy, spicy stuff, but they made it just right. That and then the bulgogi, oh, my God, I love the bulgogi. I would love to find a good Korean place here that serves authentic Korean food. But I don't go out much no more so, yeah.

SPRAGUE: What were some of your better memories from Korea?

GARZA: The mud bowl, which is what we called where we had training out in this huge fenced in area. It was muddy. Like, you get stuck in the mud type thing. 00:22:00And our tents were up on top of this wooden pallets. And I just remember having to work there and getting stuck in the mud and falling over and just everybody just having a laugh. And then we have an ajumma, is what we called them, older lady is ajumma. She had a little tent set out over there with ramen. The best ramen that I've ever had is by them. And I think that was a great experience and a moment for me because that training was tough in general, because having to deal with the mud and the outside weather, using the bathroom out there in the porta potties and it wasn't great. But yeah, it was an experience.

SPRAGUE: What was the Korean porta potties like?

GARZA: [Laughs] They stunk. They're just like a regular porta potty, you know, it stinks, you try to hold your breath, breathe through your mouth. You got multiple people using it. We didn't go out of the gate for anything. There was barracks on the outside of the gate, but they were torn down and I think there were some Air Force people in there. They always got the best stuff. And then we were stuck in the fenced in area. No offense to the Air Force, but we were stuck in the mud and we had to use the porta potties while they got to use the regular bathrooms and had the barracks. And so, yeah.

SPRAGUE: Would you have extended in Korea if you could have?

GARZA: Oh, yes, I would have. I would have loved to stay in Korea at least another year or two. But unfortunately, I did get orders to go somewhere else. And I'm glad I did, because if I didn't, then a lot of stuff wouldn't be what it is today for me.

SPRAGUE: So, where did you go next?

GARZA: Fairbanks, Alaska. Yes. So, I went from Korea to Alaska to the 1-25th Stryker Brigade. It's no longer called that. They just changed over to something else. I don't know what they changed to. I know it's no longer the Stryker Brigade there. So, that was fun. [laughs]

SPRAGUE: When was that about? Do you remember when you first-- you left Korea.

GARZA: Yeah, I left Korea in 2010. So, from mid-2010 is when I got to Fairbanks, Alaska. From there, you know, in processing was good. I had good mentors there. I ended up sort of interviewing with the brigade S-1 there with the Stryker Brigade. And it was Master Sergeant-- oh, my God, I forgot his name. Wayfield. 00:25:00Mass Sarge Wayfield. He was one of the greatest mass sergeants for me. He taught me a lot and he picked me to be in the S-1 shop with him. So, forever thankful for that. So, from start of Alaska until the time I redeployed, I was with Brigade S-1.

SPRAGUE: How do you spell Sergeant Wayfield?

GARZA: Mass Sarge Wayfield, W-A-Y-F-I-E-L-D. I'm pretty sure.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Cool. So, while you were at Fairbanks, what was a typical day in the Brigade S-1?

GARZA: Lots of paperwork. Doing a little bit of everything. Awards, promotions, updating the records, of course. Just doing little odds and ends, approving leave. We did the emergency leave, too, just in case anything happened with anybody. We were all trained in all different little aspects of that.

SPRAGUE: What would be-- while you were in Fairbanks, at the beginning, what 00:26:00were some duties that people wouldn't expect you to have that you do that most people don't think HR does?

GARZA: Being there, let's see. I think a lot of the background stuff that people don't realize is what we do. When you get your award, someone's proofreading it, someone's typing it up, making sure everything's correct. We did that. When you go through your promotion, all that paperwork that you're handing in, we're going through that to make sure everything's correct. Then we're handing it off to the upper higher up people so they can look through it. So, it's like a chain of reviewing it and kicking it back and sending it up, getting it kicked back to us and getting kicked back to the lower levels. That emergency leave Red Cross, when someone's deployed and they get hurt and the family needs to be notified, 00:27:00we did that. Some of the events, speaking at ceremonies. A lot of the stuff some of the higher ups did, most of they didn't leave that for the lower enlisted people. But I did get to experience some of it. So, it was good to be involved in some of it. But I had good leadership, too, there.

SPRAGUE: What did you all do in your downtime at Fairbanks?

GARZA: USO was good. They had-- I don't know what it was called. They had this like little club area. And I remember when I first got there, Carlos Mencia was there. Or he was coming to Fairbanks. So, I got tickets to see him, and I loved him because he's funny to me. So, if it was there in the summertime, the mountains and everything are very pretty over there. If you traveled to Denali 00:28:00or Chena Hot Springs, just everywhere around there is really pretty. Kayaking with some friends, hiking, playing volleyball, the gym. Just resting in your own little RVK is what we called it. And we have these trailers called RVKs where there would be three of us in a little common area. So, it was like our own little apartment type situation. So, just chilling in your own room, having your little stove and everything in the common area. Cooking, if one person cooks some of the times, they would offer all of us something to experience in other people's food too from different cultures because it wasn't just White, Black, or Mexican. It was so many different cultures integrated into this.

SPRAGUE: What was the comedian's name again?

GARZA: Carlos Mencia.

SPRAGUE: Carlos Mencia. Okay. Sorry. I'm not familiar with him, but okay.

GARZA: He's funny.

SPRAGUE: Cool. Okay, so, tell me a little bit about when you got alerted that you were going to mobilize and deploy.

GARZA: Oh, okay. So, I can't remember exactly when we found out we were deploying. I just remember deploying around April timeframe-- one second.

SPRAGUE: Okay. So, this is Luke Sprague with the Wisconsin Veterans Museum. We're restarting. This is segment two with Jessica Garza. And I had just asked her about when she had been alerted to the fact that they were going to get deployed and leading into what was that like?

GARZA: Okay. Fast paced. As Brigade S-1, we did a lot of the manifestation for it, making sure everybody got on the [inaudible], who was going to be on what [inaudible] and when and where, what FOB. And I remember deploying probably 00:30:00around April, I think, of 2011. So, I was in Fairbanks for about a year and then we deployed.

SPRAGUE: Did you do any pre-mobilization training anywhere else?

GARZA: I didn't do any training anywhere else. I did a little bit. I think maybe did one day of training with the FET team, which was the female engagement team. I thought at the time I was going to be able to be a part of that, but I got pulled out of that because I guess they didn't want me on it. My shop did and they needed me more with the shop downrange instead of out of the FOB. So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Okay. So, at the time, did you have any family in Fairbanks or 00:31:00what was your situation and what was that like?

GARZA: I didn't have no family. I wasn't with nobody. So, I was by myself, just friends and that's it. That's basically my whole military career was just friends. I never got married until I got re-- well, a couple of months after I got redeployed. So, just deploying with friends, that was it, really.

SPRAGUE: Okay. So, tell me about your experience deploying. What was that like?

GARZA: Oh, okay. So, a lot of different transitions being deployed. When we got in-country, we were at Kandahar and from Kandahar slash KAF, we went to FOB Lagman.

SPRAGUE: KAF, how do you spell that?

GARZA: We just-- K-A-F. Kandahar Air--

SPRAGUE: Oh. KAF, okay, sorry.

GARZA: Yeah.

SPRAGUE: I'm curious because you said that in the pre-interview and I wondered 00:32:00what that was.

GARZA: [Laughs] Yeah, it's Kandahar. I don't know if it's called Air Force or Kandahar Airfield.

SPRAGUE: Airfield.

GARZA: Airfield. There it is. Kandahar Airfield. And that was a big place. The boardwalk, that's like-- I consider that the main hub for everyone to go to. There is different FOBs around it or further from it and everything, but that was the main one we all ended up back at it when we were coming in and out of country. So, from there we went to FOB Lagman to support our unit there. And then at Lagman, we stayed there maybe for a month or so. I had my 21st birthday there. It's the only time I think I've ever had someone celebrate my birthday, like friends wise, my shop celebrated me. They made me a Rice Krispie cake. And 00:33:00like I said, I had good leadership there and I'm forever thankful for them.

SPRAGUE: No alcohol, though?

GARZA: No, no alcohol.

SPRAGUE: Oh, okay.

GARZA: [Laughs] So, from KAF to Lagman, from Lagman, I went to Masum Ghar and then the Canadians, I think, just left Masum Ghar. So, we were taking over from them, for them, and it was basically in the whole of the mountains, like those mountains surrounded us and at Masum Ghar, I got to experience a bunch of stuff. Staying up super late multiple days, again, Brigade S-1 I did have to deal with--

SPRAGUE: Okay, let's pause again. Okay. This is Luke Sprague and Jessica Garza. We're starting with segment three. Jessica had been telling me a little bit about FOB Masum Ghar and the mountains surrounding it and staying up late at 00:34:00night and some of your experiences.

GARZA: 24-hour duties doing-- I never went on a patrol-- oh, actually I did on one. I went on one patrol with Tac Team and that was just to go from one place to another. So, it wasn't that big, but it was still fun to see the outside of the FOB. I do remember we did lose a lot of people during that year. We were one of the last to do a whole year tour there. And at the time, we lost the most people and it was sad. Being the Brigade S-1, we got to, I guess, deal with all the paperwork and typing up, I watched some of my lieutenants type up the letters to go home for some of the soldiers that didn't make it. I know at the 00:35:00very beginning when I was at Lagman, I got to identify someone after an incident happened. I did that once and then they pulled us off that duty and left that to the medical people. We do a lot of the stuff in the background that I don't think people realize or other soldiers realize.

SPRAGUE: When you mean identify, do you mean identify the deceased individual?

GARZA: He wasn't-- the one I identified wasn't deceased. He was just injured really badly and we identified him by the tattoos and birthmarks and whatever is on their dog tags. So, that's the closest I got to it. Other than that, I never had to identify a deceased person, thank God. But there are other soldiers who do have to do that, the medical units and everything. So, the little bit that I 00:36:00did experience was enough for me. Because I don't want to have to identify someone and if I know them, then that's just too much. So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: Yeah. Did you have a-- tell me to the degree that you're willing to what was it like dealing with those letters that you were sending the families?

GARZA: At the time it really didn't take a toll on me until afterwards when I realized exactly what we were doing. It was-- it made me cry, honestly, having to send a letter home. I thought, what if my parents got this? I would want someone to write this letter and actually care about it, not just type up something that has a template to it. We didn't do the template thing. They actually put in words about the soldier and that the words going through, if 00:37:00there was an incident, we would get injuries, what happened to them, if it was an IED or an RPG or anything like that, we would get that kind of notification to our office and then we would send that up to the-- I forgot what it was called. Something with medical, we would send it up and let them know. And then from there, they will give them, you know, decide if they need a ward or if it was someone who did get KIA, we got that information to us, too. The KIAs, anybody injured. All that information that happens after the incident is what we get. And then from us it goes up the chain or to the medical or to the families. 00:38:00We were like the middle person. I sort of think of it like that. The middle person who does the paperwork for it, what kind of injuries they had, where at, so that way when it does get to the doctor or the medical that they know. So, having to pay attention to everything to make sure that you're not putting in the wrong information for the wrong soldier, the soldier got KIA and this soldier's alive and mixing their information up. That'd be horrible. So, it's the little attention to details and the little things that we did as the brigade, I think we ended up doing a lot that we don't get credit for. Or if we do get credit for it, it's the higher ups that get the credit. It's not us as the bottom toll people, you know, we're just doing what we were told. We got to earn the award or earn everything else. But it was tough, mentally. Physically, 00:39:00I don't want to say it was that tough, besides doing regular PT and everything. I got used to wearing all the uniform, the rugs, the protection, got used to wearing all that. The heat, of course, in Afghanistan was hot. But you get used to everything and then you learn the do's and don'ts of the place. There's a sound that goes off if we're being attacked and then we get into place to defend the FOB. There is training that we're doing, but we're also trying to make it fun, too. We had Halloween, our Christmas little parade thing and on the FOB, just dressing up with the stuff that we have available, or we can get mailed to us. So, we make fun there for the morality of everybody. But there's also the 00:40:00negative stuff that happens with it. I'm saying that a lot. So, to everything, pros and cons. Being deployed makes you appreciate life and your life here. Or if you have it better off, it makes you appreciate that because we could be doing way worse. Watching or seeing that culture there and how they're living and what they're wearing. It was a culture shock to me, I guess. That and then I dealt with an Afghan command sergeant or something, one of the higher ups, Afghan generals or something, I don't know what he was, but he was a higher up, him trying to-- I don't even know the word for it. I was on duty one day and him 00:41:00trying to basically come over the table and kiss me or something. And that's like, whoa, back off. Like, wow. He ended up getting talked to and taken off the FOB for a little couple of days. And then, us not being able to avoid him, I was never put on this duty again just in case. So, not knowing the customs that having some of the Afghan workers who worked there, who clean the porta potties, them seeing a female soldier, I'm not the best looking but I'm not the worst either. Them trying to buy me sort of, sort of say like, hey, I'll buy you this, you know. I was like, okay. [inaudible] just a gift, don't accept gifts, because then they're automatically thinking, hey, you're mine. Yeah, I didn't know it at the time, but that's some of the stuff that I dealt with there, too. I guess 00:42:00that was really it. I did get my combat action badge there because our FOB did have a RPG that hit by me. So, that was an experience for me.

SPRAGUE: Why don't you tell us about that a little bit?

GARZA: I literally just got off of my shift, a 24-hour shift working overnight, and I went back to my little tent and I took a shower and I got to wear a little bit of civilian clothes to sleep otherwise, you're wearing your military uniform. So, I was in my civvies and I was laying-- I was about to lay down and all of a sudden you hear a huge boom and everything shook right by me. And you just see this-- it's not like an explosion, I can't remember. Everything happened so fast. And then I just remember grabbing my gun, putting my little 00:43:00bit of clothes back on and running to under the cement blocks because that was my reaction, to get there and just wait, I guess. Wait with my gun if anything happens. But it turns out it was just an RPG that hit by me. And so, I dealt with that. Other than that, I never experienced an IED or anything. And I'm thankful for it.

SPRAGUE: Was anyone injured in your unit by that RPG?

GARZA: No, not that I know of.

SPRAGUE: You happen to remember about when that was while you were there?

GARZA: Oh, my goodness. I do not remember exactly when that was.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Just curious.

GARZA: I just remember within that year, so much stuff happened, from losing people and my own experiences there. So, I don't remember exactly when the--

SPRAGUE: What was going through your mind? Was anything going through your mind 00:44:00when you were underneath that concrete barrier or the tunnel or whatever it was, a protection?

GARZA: Just that I got to protect myself because there was no one else around in that if by chance our FOB did get overrun by anybody, that I'd have to protect myself. So, I have my weapon ready. And if it came to and if it was my time, it was my time. There's nothing really else you could do for it, the Army did prepare us for this. They trained us and we get briefed every day what to do and if anything does happen. And I was prepared. So, that's really it.

SPRAGUE: Did you or the FOB end up returning fire that day when the RPG came in?

GARZA: Mm-mm. I think they looked for the person who shot it and I don't know if they ever found him or not.

SPRAGUE: Okay, just a quick-- at Masum Ghar in particular, what were-- you know, I'm thinking S-1 job, I'm thinking office with lights and stuff. But tell me 00:45:00what the actual conditions were.

GARZA: It was like a little space, sort of like a little office like we're in now. You can't see it, but sort of like this. Desk made out of plywood, the walls plywood. It was like a handcrafted little shop. Everybody was tight, squeezed, secure a little area. You got to go through security to get through to us. It was crowded if everybody was in there. So, you just deal with it.

SPRAGUE: Was there air conditioning?

GARZA: For a little bit, no. [laughs] So, it got super hot there. But they did end up making it nicer, bringing in some air conditioners there. Depending on your rank is what you get, sort of. Like if you're working for Sergeant Major or anybody like that, you're going to get more better things, of course. But our shop was a lot of the-- our master sergeant, which was a different mass sergeant at the time because the other one left us. So, it was just him and then our 00:46:00group. And we made do, we had a little fan going on. My team was really-- it was good. We kept everybody, we kept each other laughing. If something bad was going on, we were there for each other. Always have a battle buddy with you. It's something I learned. Always have someone with you no matter where you go. So, I sort of take that to the day too, always have someone with me. Other than that, it was okay. It was a handmade little shop. They did good. You got people who are able to build stuff and who are experienced in the building. So, they did really good. That and then going for food, the chow hall, DFAC, whatever you want to call it, some of the stuff sucked or wasn't good. Sorry. And then other nights that we looked forward to like shrimp scampi night was amazing because I 00:47:00loved their shrimp scampi. We had some amazing cooks. So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: Do you happen to-- do you remember a certain time of the year or a pattern to when the brigade suffered a number of casualties?

GARZA: I don't remember it particularly like a certain amount of time or year. I just know we lost people a lot and it was continuous thing. We would go maybe a few weeks without losing someone and then all of a sudden, you'd get that wave of people getting hurt or incidents happening and whatnot. And then they'd have the times where if someone did pass away, where you-- we'd do the ceremony at the aircraft. And that's a sad experience. They were watching someone get pulled in a casket with the flag over them watching and all the soldiers gathered for that. It's an emotional time because that person did make the ultimate sacrifice 00:48:00because of the war that we were in.

SPRAGUE: What type of aircraft was it?

GARZA: Oh, my goodness. I cannot tell you because I just know it was a big plane. [laughs]

SPRAGUE: A fixed wing? Not helicopter?

GARZA: No, not a helicopter. If it feels right, I did see some people go off on a helicopter who were injured. But when they did pass away, it was a huge aircraft. So, I don't know the name of the aircraft, though. I'm not that familiar with them.

SPRAGUE: And this was at Masum Ghar?

GARZA: Mm-hm.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Any particular soldiers stick out in your mind that you remember that passed or not?

GARZA: Yes.

SPRAGUE: Yeah. Do you care to share or not?

GARZA: So, the only reason I remember this person is because he and my ex-husband were best friends. And the toll it made on him, I found out was big. 00:49:00And to realize that I actually was part of his paperwork and everything was like, wow, okay. I didn't realize this person had a family and kids and all this other stuff. And I don't want to say his name, but I just know every year my ex-husband does a little something for him because they lived together for a while. Other than that, there's not really anybody in particular that does stand out for me. Just all of them. Was a lot.

SPRAGUE: You had said in the pre-interview the experience at Brigade S-1 was both sad and happy, too.

GARZA: Mm-hm.

SPRAGUE: In a way. Could you kind of maybe flesh that out a little?

GARZA: So, working for the Brigade S-1, it had its ups and downs as everything. I feel as if I didn't get to experience some stuff because the higher ups took it or they left it for them to do. It's just like with awards system and everything. There's a bunch of people, a lot of the higher ups who got awards, who I believe, and not only me, a bunch of us believe they shouldn't have got it because there's people who got in these accidents and lost a leg, lost arms and everything, who got the bare minimum while you got so and so over here working in the office and air, just looking at paperwork, making sure everything is good, doing briefings and all that. Not to say that it wasn't a very important job, it was. Everybody's job is very important. But I just think some people took their rank to the head and it shouldn't be like that. But you do see that 00:51:00in the military where a lot of them use their rank for, like I said, when I was in Korea, to get their way with female soldiers. Not even female soldiers, there's male soldiers too who get assaulted and everything. Harassed. It wasn't just us. At the time, I did think it was just female soldiers. But I've come to learn, it's both male and females who do get harassed and assaulted and abused. So, sad that a lot of us didn't get the credit that we deserved. And sad because we lost a lot of people during this deployment and any deployment. And sad as in the fact that when we're going through their paperwork and seeing everything, realizing we know this person, we were just with them the other day, or we took his picture before we deployed, because before we deployed, we were taking 00:52:00everybody's picture by the flag in case something happens. It's an emotional experience right there because you were just talking to them and now they're gone. [getting emotional] I'm good. [laughs] I'm good.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Yeah. That's got to be a tough situation with really nowhere to go. And how did you blow off steam or how did you cope with that?

GARZA: I had friends there. The shop, the friends that you get close to, you learn to tell them basically everything. You do get some time at the computers. They had this little shack that had a couple of computers. You could Skype with your family or whoever. I was fortunate that I did have a best friend there who I made through the military and just talking to them about everything, knowing 00:53:00that you could lean on this person just to vent and they were there for you, that, the chaplain, chaplain was great out there. They did a little services too, so I went to that a couple of times and wasn't really big into that, though. But they had different outlets out there for you to talk to people. And of course, your battle buddies are there for you. Writing letters. It helps when you receive these care packages in the mail, too. You get to-- I don't want to say meet, but you get to acquire pen pals when you're deployed, too. I acquired a pen pal to where to this day, I still talk to her. She's on my Facebook friends. She seen my kids grow up through Facebook. It's just the people you meet through deployment and military in general. It's just something that I think a lot of civilians don't understand. And like I keep saying, it's like a 00:54:00lifelong friendship with a bunch of these people. So, having them helps get-- make you okay. Get you through it. So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: You had mentioned, you went, later on, you took down some of the FOBs that were there. Tell me about that, if you would.

GARZA: So, I didn't do it by myself, me, myself and I, but they did end up tearing down one of the FOBs there shortly after. I want to say shortly after and I want to say it was Sperwan Ghar. I'm not sure if that's correct or not, but I want to say it was Sperwan Ghar because they were-- I guess they got attacked a lot there. That, hearing and seeing the tac team go out and build routes or make routes out there for other teams to go through. There's a movie 00:55:00called Route Hyena that was on Netflix. That was something that a couple of the soldiers that I knew were a part of. So, there's-- it's an experience that I can't really talk on because I didn't get to do it. But the stories I heard and the friends that were involved with it have told me a lot about it. And the difficulties of tearing down a place that they stayed at and it not being there, but also dealing with the constant attacks that was happening. So, it had to be done.

SPRAGUE: And that was at Sperwan Ghar, is what you called it?

GARZA: Sperwan Ghar, I believe.

SPRAGUE: Do you have any-- [Garza laughs] ideas on how to spell it?

GARZA: [Laughs] I don't. Don't ask me how to spell it, I do not know.

SPRAGUE: Okay. No problem. You had said yours was one of the last units to do a 00:56:00full year rotation.

GARZA: Yes. We were told that we were one of the last ones to do the whole year. After that, people would do it in nine months. So, being there a whole year, we did get to go on leave if we chose to for like, two weeks. So, I did go on my leave, and I went back home to Georgia and that's the last time I went to Georgia, actually. So, we got that from it.

SPRAGUE: What was that like?

GARZA: Being there a whole year?

SPRAGUE: No. Coming home at mid-tour from Afghanistan.

GARZA: It was fun. It was a great experience to get out of Afghanistan and to see family again. My mom and dad drove in from Texas to Georgia to see me. My brother was there. Some of the friends that we had came by and saw me and it was 00:57:00just good mentally to get away from the war, from the casualties. I left right-- I think it was right around October. Yeah, right after Halloween, I left. So, it was good timing for me.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Did you find yourself behaving or acting differently, coming back to the States at all?

GARZA: Just jumpy. I guess you can call that the PTSD. Just being very jumpy. Loud noises, places where I would travel to or go around, if I heard a popping noise, automatically think it was a gun or some kind of siren going off thinking that we're going to be incoming. Just, it took me a second to switch that off switch from, okay, I'm not deployed no more, to I'm home. I'm okay. You know, 00:58:00somewhat safe. So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: So, was Masum Ghar your last location or were you other places as well?

GARZA: Masum Ghar was my last location. From there, we went back to KAF to redeploy. I was at KAF for a little bit. Throughout the whole time, back and forth from Masum Ghar to KAF doing stuff there, working from KAF to here. I do remember I was-- was I at KAF? I believe I was at KAF or [inaudible]. I don't remember where it was. It was KAF, I think, when we heard about it-- what is it, was it bin Laden? I think it was him. We heard about him. I was actually at work and how everybody was celebrating that. So, that's a forever experience I'll remember is being actually in Afghanistan when he was, I guess, caught and killed. I'm not totally sure, I forgot a lot of it. But seeing the excitement of 00:59:00everybody because you know that we're at war. This was the main dude who did a lot of the bad stuff. So, it was interesting to be there.

SPRAGUE: People doing cartwheels, firework crackers going off?

GARZA: No, we still had to keep it professional. It's just everybody was super excited. Some of us, we went to the boardwalk, got some ice cream, and they have a-- I think it was like, a TGI Fridays there. They're celebrating by having dinner. Just stuff that we were allowed to do. It's not like we can go out and have some drinks. Still not allowed to drink. [laughs] So, yes.

SPRAGUE: And that would have been at KAF.

GARZA: Yeah, it was like half of the time.

SPRAGUE: So, between Masum Ghar and KAF, was that a flight or did you drive between the two?

GARZA: You can take either or.

SPRAGUE: Oh. Which one was safer?

GARZA: They're both sort of dangerous, but I would say flying because I mean, flying too, you can get hit. But flying to me would have been safer or is safer. 01:00:00But there's no telling.

SPRAGUE: Yeah. Okay. So, what do you remember about your last day in Afghanistan?

GARZA: I remember just having to pack everything up, just packing everything, sending everything back to Alaska and then just getting on those planes and everybody being happy. And I remember me and my friend actually sat close to each other, the one that passed away, and just talking about, hey, what are you gonna do when you get home? You know, this, what are you gonna get to when you get to this place? We stopped-- [inaudible], Kuwait? We stopped somewhere and we were able to have a little fun there, and it was like a party. Okay, we deployed, we finished. You know, we had a little party, got some some drinks there. I don't know if it was like [inaudible] beer or whatever it was called 01:01:00but have some of that. Just playing some pool and singing karaoke and just hanging out with fellow soldiers. There was Marines there, there's Air Force, Navy. It's just so many of us. People were coming in and people were going out and just, everybody got along. And it was just good to experience and be a part of the excitement that we finally get to go home, that we made it alive, of course. And then also taking the time, you know, this one's for our fallen brothers and soldiers, spilling the drink for them. So, I guess that experience was very uplifting to see how everybody changes from before being deployed, just taking life for granted to being redeployed, being aware of your situation, aware of your surroundings, just aware of who you're around, if you're driving, 01:02:00what's around you, just being more aware of everything. And then, just like I said, just having those people who we deployed with who are there for you, who know the best part of you and the worst part of you now, who worked with you when you were stinking and not taking a shower for days at a time. And for females, it's bad. We started to really stink. Males too, but we got really close to everybody. So, it was good. It makes me happy now that I got to experience it because it could have been just from there straight back home and that's it. But we got celebrated and I think that was it. We got appreciated from the work that we did, even though we didn't get the awards or anything like some of the higher ups did, we got appreciated in different ways.

SPRAGUE: What was it like coming back to the United States? Getting to Alaska?

GARZA: I remember I was excited. I was happy to be on U.S. soil. From the plane we got on buses to get back to Wainwright and just having that welcome home ceremony, us walking in. And then there's family members of everybody there. I think that made me sad sorta because like, I didn't have no family. My mom and dad and brother couldn't be there. It's Alaska, it's far, but seeing everybody else's families, kids, hearing about these people's family and kids and meeting them and seeing their motions there, it was interesting to see. But it was a good experience for us, too, as the single soldier, because we're back. We get to be back on doing regular things, not having to worry about if someone's going to try and kill us today.

SPRAGUE: So, tell me about you get back to Wainwright. What was the remainder of 01:04:00your tour like there, I'm assuming there.

GARZA: Yes, [laughs] it was fun. Let's see, we got back in April, May timeframe? Probably-- it was just fun. We went out a lot. Being a younger person at the time, we went to the clubs a lot, spent time with my friends, adventuring out. I did end up meeting my ex-husband now, but I met him because we got back. I worked for Brigade for a little while longer, and then they decided to switch me to a battalion, to the 5-1 Cav, and I needed the experience working for someone at the lower level, I guess.

SPRAGUE: What was that like? Going from brigade to 5-1 Cav?

GARZA: It was different. I was used to working with like sergeant major, 01:05:00colonels, majors, everybody like that. And now I'm working with regular sergeants, specialist, people my rank. And it was good. It was different. In the Cav, there was a lot of males there. I was one of the few females there, me and one of my sergeants, and I wasn't there too long, but long enough to make some friends. I met my ex-husband from there and it was a good experience. They made me feel welcome.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Did you get out after 5-1 Cav or did you go somewhere else?

GARZA: I did get out of active duty, So, I did meet my husband then, my ex-husband, and I ended up getting pregnant. So, I didn't want to be in the 01:06:00military and have to miss anything that the kids, you know, anything kid-wise. So, I chose to get out under Chapter 8, which is the pregnancy. And from there it was fast because he was PCSing soon after and I was just pregnant. I didn't want to be there alone, going through everything alone. I didn't have family there. And so, I feel like I was sort of rushed out so that way I can be in the other states, or in Kansas because that's where he ended up going, is Kansas. They rushed me out so I can hurry up and be there before my time of not being able to fly. And in that process of being rushed out, I didn't learn a lot of stuff. I didn't find out that there is so many things out here for veterans or for military while your spouse is deployed or anything. I didn't find out the 01:07:00financial wise stuff. I didn't find out nothing. I was just-- here's this, sign it, come back, here's this, sign, get out. Basically, that was my experience of leaving active duty. Now that I know so much stuff about what's out here and the stuff that is available for military members and their kids, I wish I would have stayed in because I was on the verge of getting promoted and I just decided not to because I didn't want to, because I knew I was going to get out because of the kid. So, I wish I would have stayed in, but I didn't. And it's okay. I got out of active and moved to Fort Riley, Kansas with my husband. We did get married super fast. Our relationship was super fast, but I wouldn't change it. 01:08:00The Army did deploy him basically as soon as we got to Kansas. So, as soon as we got there, I ended up moving again to Texas to be with my mom and dad.

SPRAGUE: So, you would have been in Kansas in 2016?

GARZA: I was in Kansas in 2016. We got to Kansas in 2013.

SPRAGUE: Okay, I bet. Okay. But you are on active duty from '08 to '16?

GARZA: I was on active duty from 2008 to 2013.

SPRAGUE: Okay.

GARZA: And then I took a year for IRR, which is-- what does it stand for?

SPRAGUE: Inactive ready reserve.

GARZA: There we go.

SPRAGUE: Or Individual Ready Reserve.

GARZA: That's what it was.

SPRAGUE: Depending on when you were in the Army.

GARZA: I did a year with that and then in 2014, towards the end, I decided I 01:09:00want to join back in. So, I just did the reserves because I did have a kid, didn't know much. I joined the reserves and I got assigned to the G-1 with the 451st ESC in Wichita, Kansas. And the leadership there was great. I had a good experiences there. But the transitioning from active to military spouse slash spouses, deployed now, doing a lot of things with myself, mentally it messed me up a little bit. I went through depression, anxiety, a lot of stuff and I did some stuff I wasn't proud of. And I think our marriage from 2014 on suffered because of it. The stuff that I dealt with in the military and in the transition phase and stuff that he dealt with in military and just constantly being gone, 01:10:00it had an effect on our marriage. And I blame the Army a lot and I know I shouldn't. But it's just how I felt at the time.

SPRAGUE: The 451st ESC

GARZA: I want to say it's the 451st ESC.

SPRAGUE: And what does ESC stand for?

GARZA: Oh, my goodness.

SPRAGUE: Just curious. If you got it, good. If not, don't worry about--

GARZA: I don't know.

SPRAGUE: Okay, never mind.

GARZA: I just know it was from Wichita, Kansas.

SPRAGUE: Okay, no problem. So, interesting point. So, you feel that the both of you being deployed, making that transition, had an effect on your relationship?

GARZA: It did. It really did. And you don't realize it at the time. I just now within the past couple of years realize the effect that the military had on me and how I blamed the military and the Army for messing up my relationship or 01:11:00messing up him, He was involved in an incident where the soldier died downrange and their vehicle got an IED. There's a certain song that he won't listen to because that song was on during that attack. So, dealing with someone else who is active military and has their own issues going on, along with me having my own issues and plus, when you do have a kid, your hormones change and you just change a lot. Dealing with that, dealing with the transition and to getting out and rushing to get out to move to Kansas, just to find out I'm moving again because he's not there and not having anyone to talk to. It made me go through a depression that I wouldn't wish on nobody. Then him being there via Skype for 01:12:00the birth of our first child and him not being able to come home because Army declined him that privilege to be home for the birth, even though it was a scheduled C-section. He still got declined it. So, I blame the military. I really did. I was like, this is messed up, y'all have plenty of soldiers there training, doing those missions. I know there were some secret missions going on that he had to be there for, but at the same time, it's like, there's other people. What if something happened and he needed to come home? It's like that. But he did end up coming home for, like, a week, a couple weeks after our child was born. But the constant back and forth, it just messes with you. And then, like I said, our marriage did suffer from that. Like I said, I've done stuff. He's done stuff. During that time frame in 2014, from the time I joined, I found 01:13:00out I was pregnant again. Then we lost twins because, no one's fault, but we lost our twins. And then that put another damper on us. And then him still being active, still leaving. I feel like as if he wasn't there for me. And it wasn't even his fault. But I blamed him. I blame him for everything when it wasn't even him. It was the military. You have to do what they say. And then, it puts such a damper on him that he became an alcoholic and he went to go get help. And then the military in basically nice words screwing him over because he went to the ASAP program, or rehab. But he didn't get his retirement benefits or anything medically discharged, right, because he went out there to get help. But yet, the Army and military want you to go get help. You know, tell someone if you're going through stuff, if you're having issues with drugs or alcohol. But when it 01:14:00comes down to it, it's like, y'all didn't do that. Y'all talked a bunch of this stuff. We trusted y'all and look what you did. You not being there for my husband affected me, too. Affected my kids and everything. So, dealing with that, too, in such a short amount of time, going back and forth from EO to legal, trying to figure out what we can do, who we can go to, the highest that person we can talk to. Because it wasn't fair, the situation that he got put in. So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: And do you see your families, what they went through, both you and your ex-husband, as part of the sacrifice you've made for this country?

GARZA: I would have to say yes, because like I say, you don't realize the effects that the deployment has on you until, you know, it could be years down 01:15:00the road, or it could be as soon as you get back from deployment. I didn't find out till years down the road, but absolutely. Losing, like with him, he lost his best friend, his roommate, everything. You watch your friend die in front of you because of a war that we're in. It's going to mess you up. And then me just having to do the behind-the-scenes stuff and all the paperwork and realizing that all these soldiers who passed away and everything, it affects you mentally. You seem okay and everything, but mentally it's like, wow, this really did happen. This person really did die. This person committed suicide because they couldn't handle it no more because there's not people there for us as veterans. Or military spouses or just coming back from deployment. No one can understand it. Everybody's like, oh, we're here to help. But you can't help if you don't 01:16:00understand the stuff that we've been through, if you haven't seen the stuff that we've seen. So, that and not being able to go get the help because afraid of the stigmatism that mental health isn't really nothing. Or alcoholism, oh, you're just young, you're able to drink all this stuff. It's a lot of crap. [laughs] There's a lot of crap, I guess, that they talk. They're here to help us and make sure we're okay. But yet here I am, getting sexually assaulted by higher ups. Here he is getting messed over by the division he was in at Fort Riley because he went to go get help for his problem. So, I believe we both overcame so much stuff, but it's messed us both up. Just dealing with that, the Army, it was a 01:17:00lot. So, yeah.

SPRAGUE: So, you're in Texas. What happens next?

GARZA: I was in Texas. I gave birth to my first son. While I'm there, I am looking for a house in Kansas again. So, we found a place in Kansas. I returned two months before he redeployed so I can get the house ready and kid situation good. All that. And then I try to be more active in the FRG, Family Readiness Group. I try to be more active in that and to see what's going on. I met a couple good friends from there and people that understand the military spouse part, but not the I'm not just a military spouse now, I'm also a veteran. Or I'm also reserve soldier. I don't think I was able to meet anybody who was in the same situation as me. But it was good to know that there was other spouses there 01:18:00who understood, like, oh, my husband wasn't there either for the birth or anything. So, that helped me some. But it was a lot at once, you know, moving back from Texas to Kansas, my family helping me move everything back and then getting ready for him to redeploy, which he redeployed back in December or in December. Yeah. And then from there, just life took off again.

SPRAGUE: Help me out. How did you get to Wisconsin? [Garza laughs] If you can draw those two together for me?

GARZA: Okay. So, while we were in Kansas, that's when our marriage sort of went downhill. And not his fault. Not my fault. It's the both of our things. We decided-- I got out in 2016 of the reserves, in September 2016. I was like, I was done with the Army in general, just seeing how they were towards him, how 01:19:00they didn't help him out. I was mad. I didn't want nothing to do with the Army. I thought they were just saying whatever they could to make people stay in or to enlist people and it's true. They do. They say whatever they can to get people there. And so, 2016 I got out and then he got out in October? September, October, I can't remember. He got out at the end of 2016 also. And then we stayed there for a little bit longer. We separated at the time, went through a separation, the loss of the twins, which affected us. And then I ended up getting pregnant again with our youngest son. And that played a big toll on us, too, because there were some questions right there. But we decided to try and 01:20:00see if it would work out with us. So, my family, all I have is my mom and dad in Texas with my mom and dad's family there. But we're not all that close to them. And my brother's in Georgia, but he had all his family here in Wisconsin. His sister and his other sister and nieces and nephews here. We were thinking at the time, okay, your family's the only one who has kids so our kids can grow up and be close to. So, we were like, hey, if it was a decision, Texas or Wisconsin, and we chose Wisconsin and we ended up moving here to try and make it work and it didn't work out. And I wish it would've. I wish I was heal as healed now. I wish I was healed then because I believe I could have made it work if I would have tried. Just at the time, I didn't want to try. Honestly, I was just too depressed, too much anxiety, too much PTSD, too much everything going on in my own life.

SPRAGUE: When did you move up here?

GARZA: 2018.

SPRAGUE: Okay.

GARZA: Yeah. May. I moved up here in May 2018. He was here a little bit before May 2018.

SPRAGUE: Okay. What are some of the things that you miss about the military? You've mentioned some of them.

GARZA: I miss my friends. [laughs] The battle buddies I made. That bond, just always having someone there for you, constantly going to work and just talking to them. They know what you've been through, the deployment, having my roommates. Just having those friends there. I really miss that. The structure. I knew every day, we'd wake up, have to go to PT, so I'm sort of forced to be fit in. I need that now. I need that structure to do things. So, I miss the structure of it. Having someone teach us the PT stuff, going to ceremonies and everything. I miss some of my leadership. I've had some great leadership. My 01:22:00favorite major, Major Chandler, my master sergeant. All my friends that I know and still keep in contact today. Just that. Yes, I had some bad experiences in the military with people, but out of my own leadership, I don't think I ever had any issues. They're all good. But not everybody is like that. There's people who had crappy leadership, who didn't give anything, couldn't care in the world about them. So, I believe I got lucky on that part. But I miss that. I miss the traveling. I do. I love traveling and visiting new places. So, I do miss that. I miss just constantly being knowledgeable on things, constantly learning new things, a new task, a new role, switching from awards to promotions, from 01:23:00promotions to Red Cross, to updating soldiers stuff. There's a lot I miss. I don't miss the Army in particular, I just miss the people, mostly.

SPRAGUE: Do you think if you could, would you choose to go to Masum Ghar again if you were or--

GARZA: No.

SPRAGUE: No?

GARZA: No! [laughs] No!

SPRAGUE: Okay. What were your feelings with the withdrawal from Afghanistan? Just in 2021.

GARZA: I was mad. We was drawn from Afghanistan, so I felt like we lost all those people for what? For nothing? Y'all left vehicles, y'all left weapons there. It could have been done in such a different way, but it feels like it all 01:24:00went to crap. Like what did we sacrifice our lives for? Why did we lose all these people? Why did children lose their mom and dads? For what? The war to end like this and it still be crappy over there? It was a lot of anger. Yeah.

SPRAGUE: What are your thoughts on, now that you're back and out of the service, what are your thoughts on, like, we've got it coming up now, on Memorial Day.

GARZA: I just don't think they should have lost their lives. I celebrate their lives, yes, because they were all people. Everybody is someone to someone. And it's just I want to keep their memories alive, of course. But I don't know 01:25:00everybody but people that we do know that got killed or who died of injuries or who died of suicide or anything like, those people were like, I want to keep the memories alive to realize that we did serve our country. We went downrange, we fought, we got to experience a lot of stuff. But it's just like I said, the way it ended is just-- it makes you think, was it even worth it? Why did we risk our lives for this? It makes you question a lot of whys. But it's the answers-- it's the questions I don't have answers to. But I do hope people do continue to keep remembering everybody that we lost and don't just like, oh, he was just downrange. Okay, you don't know half the story of what happened on range. Yeah, I'm talking about it, but there's so much more that did happen. I just want 01:26:00anybody to remember them. Anybody who deployed in the past and future.

SPRAGUE: What motivated you to do this interview?

GARZA: Just to be a part of something. Get my story out there. Let them know that it wasn't all easy, especially being a Latina female. It wasn't all easy. I dealt with PTSD, anxiety, depression. I dealt with military sexual trauma. I dealt with higher ups taking advantage of the lower ranking, me at the time, getting their way with me because of that rank and being afraid to say no or to tell anybody about it. To get it out there like, you just heard of the female soldier who got killed at Fort Hood. That happens. It's not just at Fort Hood. Yeah, it's the worst place right now, where the past two ones have happened. But 01:27:00it's happening everywhere. And I didn't get to the point where I was about to die or anything, but I still dealt with the MST from some of the stuff. And people need to be more aware of it, that there's still bad leadership out there who allows this to happen, even though this soldier, male or female, is telling you like, hey, something's not right. I keep telling this person to leave me alone, or I feel as if something bad is about to happen because I'm getting threats, no one taking them serious. They're not believing them. Like, oh, you're just overexaggerating. They're just playing around or something. Like, no. You have that gut feeling when something bad is happening. I want people to be aware of that. It's a big thing right now that I don't think a lot of people 01:28:00think about until something bad happens, like these girls getting killed from other soldiers. And then you deal with other soldiers who have PTSD, who take action on their PTSD and not even realize it, but it makes some people angry. Some people are okay, and they can hide it. And then you get those violent people who I don't even know if they realize how violent they're being until it happens. They just, I guess, sort of Hulk out is the best word I can say. They go blank and they end up killing people or they end up killing the person they're with. I've dealt with that, someone having PTSD, wake up in the middle of the night and thinking you're the bad person. And then dealing with domestic abuse. I've dealt with all this stuff and it just needs be more awareness for it. There are people who do lie about it and say, oh, so-and-so's hitting me or 01:29:00so-and-so's doing this. But not everybody is like that. You got the good people and bad people, people who lie, people who tell the truth, but you just got to-- I sort of believe everybody until they give me a reason not to and then just go off their vibe.

SPRAGUE: Did we-- [clears throat], excuse me. Did we miss anything you'd like to cover?

GARZA: Not really. Not that I can think of. I wish I could have done a lot of things different, but like I said, I don't blame anybody in particular for my life. It is my life. I did what I did. I'm a messed-up person sometimes. It happens. The stuff I've been through, sexually and just deployment and everything, has messed me up and it cost me my marriage, it cost me everything. 01:30:00[getting emotional] So, that's it.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Do you want to keep talking about it or-- go ahead.

GARZA: [Laughs] That's it, really. I mean, that's-- a lot of people can sort of-- they can sort of relate to the situation to where, the situations of the military puts you in that messes up your relationship and your marriage. It just sucks. It took me years of being out to realize that there's help out there, that I'm able to talk to a therapist. I have a therapist I talk to. That there's a women's clinic specifically for us female veterans that we go to. There's all this help out there that that's here for us now. And I wish I would have known that sooner. That way I can still have my family all together. But it's not like 01:31:00that. And I'm just living my life now and [inaudible], we co-parent very well and our kids are good and everything, But just at times, I wish I wouldn't have been so hardheaded and I could have gotten the help, like when he was telling me to get help because he went to go get help and he was like, "This is going to help you. I'm doing it." I didn't want to listen to him. I was going through my own depression. I literally told him, "I don't love you. I don't wanna be married." I told him that. And I wish I could take it back, but I can't. So, yeah. I know I'm not alone.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Well, thank you for your service. From one veteran to another. We're going to go ahead and wrap the interview up.

GARZA: Okay.

SPRAGUE: Okay. Thank you.

GARZA: Thank you.