Oral History Interview with Rene A. Zehr

[Interview Begins]

BOWERS HEALEY: All right. Good afternoon. Hi. Today is April 26, 2023. And this is an interview with Renee Zahra, who is serving in the United States Navy Reserves. She entered active duty March 25th, 2019, and remained on active duty until September 23rd, 2019, at which time she began reserve duty. This is an interview conducted by Ellen Bowers. Kelly and I'm conducting it in Neenah, Wisconsin, for the Wisconsin Veterans Museum Oral History Program. No one else is present for this interview. Did I get those facts right? Correct, Rooney?

ZEHR: Yes, that is correct.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And would you state your full name?

ZEHR: My name is Renee Alexandros here.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And you are currently fulfilling your reserve requirement, is that right?

ZEHR: Yes. Okay.

BOWERS HEALEY: And for a period of time, did you enlist?

ZEHR: I enlisted in September of 2018, and that's when I went down to maps and signed my contract. I left for boot camp March 24th, 2019. So then from there I went to Great Lakes and I did boot camp. I was there for nine weeks. We had a week of holding and then we started boot camp for the next week. I was in a performing division, so I was on the drumline for graduation.

BOWERS HEALEY: What's a performing division?

ZEHR: So it's the divisions that perform for the graduation ceremonies. So what I did, a lot of the recruits that were with me, they would hold the different state flags. So they had the flag portion, they had the drumline portion. And that's where I was. So I played the drums for every graduation up until my own. I even played at my own graduation as well.

BOWERS HEALEY: And why were you selected to do that?

ZEHR: I played the drums in high school, so I was on the drum line in high school, and they had asked when we first got to boot camp if we had any experience in music or drumming, if we had any performance experience. And I had explained that I was on the drum line in high school. So then they put me in that division specifically. Oh.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. Okay. All right. Let me go back a little bit. Where were you born? I was born in. Okay. And where did you grow up?

ZEHR: I grew up. I started in. I moved to Neenah, Wisconsin, when I was eight years old and I grew up in Neenah and my parents still live in the house that I grew up in.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And what is your parents do as you were growing up?

ZEHR: My dad's a pilot, so he flew corporate for different companies and then my mom is in marketing and sales, so she's been doing that since I was little.

BOWERS HEALEY: So I believe you indicated in your interview, your initial interview that your parents also were in the service, Is that correct?

ZEHR: My grandpa.

BOWERS HEALEY: Was. Oh, your grandfather was?

ZEHR: My grandfather was in the Marines.

BOWERS HEALEY: And where did you did you go to high school? And if so, did you graduate from high school?

ZEHR: I went to high school. I started at Nina High School, and then I was homeschooled my last year and a half of high school. So I ended up graduating a year early. You graduated from 2008.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And how old were you at that time?

ZEHR: I was 17 when I graduated.

BOWERS HEALEY: And did you have other siblings?

ZEHR: I do not. I'm an only child. Okay.

BOWERS HEALEY: So your mother or father homeschooled you?

ZEHR: I homeschooled technically myself with the teachers. I the teachers would send me all the books and the assignments, and then I would mail them back to them. So I pretty much did it on my own with some help from the teachers through email.

BOWERS HEALEY: Was that a decision that you made by yourself to homeschool?

ZEHR: Yes. I just really wanted to get through high school. High school. But it was just kind of rough. Just a lot of bullying and like that type of stuff. And I just was happier being homeschooled.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And after you graduated from high school, did you seek employment? Did you have employment?

ZEHR: I went to college for a year and I realized I wasn't ready for college. So then I ended up going to cosmetology school. Okay. I graduated from cosmetology school in 2010.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And after you graduated from cosmetology school, what did you do?

ZEHR: I was living out in Salt Lake City, Utah, at the time, and I worked for a children's salon cutting kids hair. So I worked with little kids every day. It was pretty wonderful.

BOWERS HEALEY: What caused you to go to Salt Lake City?

ZEHR: My ex-husband lives there, so we get out there together.

BOWERS HEALEY: All right. And how much time did you spend out in Salt Lake City?

ZEHR: I was in Salt Lake City from 2010 to 2013.

BOWERS HEALEY: And I believe you mentioned that you had a child or children. I have.

ZEHR: Two children.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay.

ZEHR: So my son, Gavin, he was born in January of 2014. And then my daughter Elina, was born in March of 2015.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And I take it you left Salt Lake City. And where did you go from Salt Lake City?

ZEHR: Say, move back home to Neenah. I wanted to be closer to my parents. I was pregnant with my son at the time, so I just really wanted to have that kind of family surrounding me, especially going through a divorce and everything. So I moved back home and I've been home ever since.

BOWERS HEALEY: All righty. And anything else that you did before you enlisted? Um.

ZEHR: I worked as a phlebotomist in a hospital for about four years that I really wanted to get into the medical field. That's what kind of pushed me as well to go the medical field in the Navy.

BOWERS HEALEY: Because you have to go to for balmy school or research and learn that.

ZEHR: I started at my whole life, so I worked there for a couple of years and that's what taught me phlebotomy. And then I went to a hospital and was doing phlebotomy out of state of care here in Neenah. And so when I started that, it was a really kind of amazing experience. I got to go to trauma, like the traumas, I got to go in the ICU, I got to do all kinds of things out of the hospital. So I kind of saw every step of the process for the lab work. I was down in the lab quite a bit. It was really wonderful experience. I really liked it.

BOWERS HEALEY: Explain a little bit more how you you're phlebotomist and that's what you were doing. But you also said you were in the operating room.

ZEHR: Yeah. So I got to go into the intensive care unit. I did get to go into the O.R., the operating room to draw blood when they couldn't draw the blood through an I.V. or there were different reasons why I would be in there. But I did that, and it was. It was cool.

BOWERS HEALEY: I really like. Okay. And what caused you to decide to join the Navy?

ZEHR: So when I had I've always wanted to join the military. It's always been something that I felt like I really wanted to do. And then I had gotten pregnant with my son and there were just some set, some some setbacks. So once sorry. So then when I wanted to join, I was in kind of an abusive relationship at the time and I felt like very stuck and I was scared to leave and there was just a lot there. So that's kind of a big part of me and who I am, and I just always wanted to do it. And I knew that if I did it, it would change my life and I did. It kind of got me out of the situation and it was probably the best thing I could have done for myself at the time.

BOWERS HEALEY: Discuss the enlistment process that you went through. And I understand you were 28 when you did this.

ZEHR: Yeah. Okay. So I just walked into the recruiting office. I talked with a couple recruiters. They kind of explained what the process was. They told me that I had to go through maps and that I had to pass as that exam. So I went and did all that. Once I passed Abbs Babb, we sat down at a table and they told me that I wasn't allowed to pick my rate for the Navy. So I sat there and they were trying to get me into construction because I scored really high on the construction side of the ASVAB. So I kept going back and forth and I told them I wasn't going to sign the paper until they could get me to be a corpsman in the Navy because that was where my heart was set. I was in the medical field at the time. That's really like where I wanted to go. So the guy kind of work something out with me and ended up getting me a corpsman position.

BOWERS HEALEY: And was that in your contract? You know.

ZEHR: Not originally, so I really had to fight for that. They were definitely making me think I wasn't going to be able to get it. So once I got the corpsman right, that was that. That's what made me sign the contract then at that point.

BOWERS HEALEY: So. Okay. And you mentioned your grandfather was in the Marines. Is he still living?

ZEHR: He is not. He passed away October 11th, 2012, so he doesn't know that I joined. Okay. But I he's a major reason why I did so. He was a marine. I remember him talking about it as a kid. He was so proud to be a marine. He had like a marine little badge on his suitcase. And then he had Marine stuff all around his house. And I just remember him being so proud of it. And he was an idol for me. I looked up to him so much. And so part of joining the military was like wanting him to be proud of me as well and like being able to keep our last name going in the military because his last name is dear as well.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay, so. And what's his complete name?

ZEHR: Marlos. Yea.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay.

ZEHR: But you. Goes by. Mert and I called him Papa Z.

BOWERS HEALEY: All righty. Okay. All right. So you got through the enlistment process, at least to the point where you believe that you you were going to be a corps person. Is a corpsman or core person.

ZEHR: Corpsman. Corpsman.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And then you mentioned that you went down to Great Lakes. Is that where you did your boot camp? Yes. And you were in the drum performance. What else can you tell me about your boot camp experience?

ZEHR: It was prob they always say like that. It was hard, um, being away from my children made it probably the hardest thing I've ever done. Just missing them, not being able to talk to them. It was so busy that we didn't really have time to think about that until we laid our heads down on the pillow at night. But it was a very interesting experience. They break you down to build you up. And they did. I broke. I remember sitting and just crying and asking myself, why in the world did I think that this was a good idea? But once they broke us and then they started to build us back up, it really built this confidence within myself and the camaraderie with all the people in boot camp. My best friend actually went to boot camp with me, so we became friends and boot camp. We went through corpsman training together and her and I are still super close to this day, so just brought amazing people into my life and we kind of like suffered together, I guess.

BOWERS HEALEY: Where's your friend from?

ZEHR: She is from Atlanta, Georgia.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay.

ZEHR: Originally from Colombia. So she moved here when she was in middle school and then always wanted to join the Navy. And we ended up at the same boot camp together.

BOWERS HEALEY: So did you join together or not? No, no, no.

ZEHR: We didn't know each other before.

BOWERS HEALEY: I see. How old were your children when you went to boot camp?

ZEHR: See, Gaben was five, and my daughter Lena was four.

BOWERS HEALEY: And did your parents take care of them or who?

ZEHR: Yes, they helped take care of them a lot. So that wasn't for them? I would definitely wouldn't have been able to go.

BOWERS HEALEY: So right now, let me ask you, also being a single mom when you enlisted. Was that an issue that came up? Do they ask you about that? And who would care for your children?

ZEHR: They do say you have to have a family care plan. So I set up a family care plan. I gave basically the rights to my children, to my parents at the time so they could take them to doctors appointments. They could do whatever they needed to with them.

BOWERS HEALEY: And after your graduation from basic training, did you get leave after that?

ZEHR: No, I didn't. I had maybe 3 hours of free time with my parents. So my parents came with my kids and we got a couple of hours and then some goodbye and then go back to stay in our barracks at boot camp. And then I left the next day for San Antonio.

BOWERS HEALEY: And your kids being five And I think you said before, any reactions from them?

ZEHR: They were. When I first saw my son, he cried. I actually have a picture of me holding My kids and my son were all crying, so it's just like happy tears to see each other. And they were so happy to see me. It was hard for them to leave me again. So then I had to go to training, but I could talk to them and FaceTime them every day. Once I left boot camp, so that made it a lot easier going forward. So.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And you said you headed to San Antonio, is that correct? Yes. How long was your training down there?

ZEHR: We were there for four and a half months.

BOWERS HEALEY: And tell me about your training and your training experiences and friends and that sort of thing.

ZEHR: So when we got to San Antonio, we were on Fort Sam Houston. So that's the medical training center for Army, Navy and Air Force. So we and we got there. We were kind of on a hold for about a week. There were four other girls that I had went to boot camp with. We were all at the same school in the same barracks. We stuck together through the whole thing. But once we got off of our hold for the week, we started classes where we weren't allowed to have our phones on us during the day and we went through corpsman or equivalent to like a licensed practical nurse and LPN and a medic. So we first went through pretty much all of like the hospital setting training, and then we went through our combat medical training as well. So we kind of got a mix of both, which I thought was awesome. I got to learn both sides, either working in the hospital, being out in the field, all that type of stuff.

BOWERS HEALEY: Did the fact that you were a full bottom as before kind of make it easier for you or not?

ZEHR: Yes. So I had some nursing classes under my belt as well. So the anatomy class helped. There was a lot I had learned a lot of it prior just from working in a hospital. The medical terminology phlebotomy portion of our training was easy, and then the I.V. part of our training was easy as well. So those things just kind of came naturally for me. This was my background and experience.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And anything else you want to say about your training as a corpsman?

ZEHR: Just the girls that I became friends with. We're still like, we don't talk as much these days, but they still mean the world to me. And if they called me and ever needed anything, I would be there in a heartbeat. So it's just like building those friendships and that family that really we stuck together and you just make these wonderful connections and family.

BOWERS HEALEY: For the connections you made with Navy people or with all.

ZEHR: Branches. Navy.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay, we're.

ZEHR: All in the Navy corpsman. One went to Japan. One went to San Diego. One went to Michigan. We all kind of like went our separate ways. So I think that's something with military is like you get super close with people and you kind of have to just like spread out and go your own ways. But you still like, if we were to get together, I bet it wouldn't be exactly the same as it was when we left.

BOWERS HEALEY: I think you mentioned that other services train. They're also they're medics. Were you in the same classes with them or not?

ZEHR: No. Okay. We're in different buildings and they were in different classes. But we would run into each other every once in a while and we would go eat at the chow hall. So we'd run into the Army and the Air Force, and we all were eating army food, which wasn't the best. I mean, it is what it is. So I survived, but I remember the turkey being pink and we lost power one day and it was like 110 degrees outside. So they like gave us this slab of like, I don't even know what it was. It was some kind of meat and it was warm. And I just remember rather not eating. So and there are always, like bugs in our food. I mean, that is one thing with the military. The food is and always the best.

BOWERS HEALEY: In addition to having food from the chow hall. Did you ever receive rations to go, actually? Did you spend time out in the field and what drew you there?

ZEHR: No. So our field training was indoors for our combat medical training. So we did everything indoors. But. We could go off base if we wanted to. We had different phases. So in phase one, we weren't allowed off base. We learned not to go anywhere like we had. We had pretty strict restrictions. We couldn't drink alcohol even though we were over 21. We were just kind of on lockdown. Phase two got a little easier. We could go off base but still couldn't drink or stay overnight anywhere. And then phase three, we could finally, like, go off base, have a drink, stay overnight with permission. So it got a lot easier as we got through the training for you.

BOWERS HEALEY: One of the older trainees at the time.

ZEHR: Yeah. So my best friend, her name is Laura. So Laura and I are around the same age. She's just a few years older than I am, so her and I kind of stuck together because we we just had more in common, I think. But the rest of our friends were all like 20. So it's just interesting seeing like these 18, 19, 20 year olds and hanging around them. But yeah, we were definitely on the older side for sure.

BOWERS HEALEY: What would you say the percentage of men to women was in your training class?

ZEHR: Most Well, probably. Honestly, in mine specifically, we only had 35 people in my class, but I think about 5050. So.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. Were the people that you were training with where they all reservist or were some of them going straight to active duty?

ZEHR: Some are reservists and some are going straight to active duty. So we're kind of a mix of people.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. So when you finished in Texas, what time of the year did you finish?

ZEHR: It was September of 2019, so we were there from May to September, and it was the hottest months of the year in San Antonio. And we would go out for our training or physical training at like four or 5 a.m. and the air would be so dense and humid that we would just instantly walk outside and you'd just start sweating and like, the sun's not even out yet. So it's like 100% humidity. It's like 90 degrees at 4ami mean, it was we had run like a few miles and just feel.

BOWERS HEALEY: Just.

ZEHR: For starters. Well.

BOWERS HEALEY: For your training, you were you were in classroom training. Now, what uniform did you wear?

ZEHR: We were our Navy working uniforms are use. And, um, if we got in trouble for our class got in trouble, which we did, we had to wear our and use our Navy service uniform. So that's why we call them the peanut butter. So they're brown top black bottoms. And then our Navy working uniform is our cami or camel.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And what rank were you when you finished your schooling?

ZEHR: I was E-2. Okay.

BOWERS HEALEY: Were you promoted while you were there?

ZEHR: Not while I was there. I got promoted once I went to my reserve station. Because you go from 2 to 3. I think it takes nine months to go from 2 to 3. And then I went from 3 to 4 while I was on after orders for COVID. And then I'm 85 currently.

BOWERS HEALEY: After you finish your training and you came back to Nina, Wisconsin, what was your reserve obligation in terms of how how, where, when did you drill.

ZEHR: If you did it all? Yeah. So I came back and I drilled once a month, which that transition was difficult going from active duty, being around military all the time to that and going back to your civilian life, I didn't really feel like I fit and much anymore. I changed a lot while I was gone. Even though it was only six months, There was a lot of change and growth for me. So when I came back, I didn't. A lot of the friends that I had, we just kind of fizzled and weren't connected anymore. It just it was definitely a difficult transition.

BOWERS HEALEY: For six months. I don't know if you were employed before you went in or not.

ZEHR: I was.

BOWERS HEALEY: You were. And was your job held for you or not?

ZEHR: It was. And when I went back, my boss a couple of times had to be like pulled me aside, like, this isn't the military like we know yet. So you're got that mindset, but this isn't the military. And so I kept hearing that and it was frustrating and I just felt like out of place, I guess. So then I ended.

Unidentified Up COVID hit and I left.

ZEHR: My phlebotomy job to go to New York for my orders for there. So that's kind of where I left the hospital. And then I just go back after something.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. Before you get called up for COVID, and I believe that would've been in 2020, is that correct? Yes. How many drills had you had by then?

Unidentified Uh, five. So I would have had.

ZEHR: Five weekends for hotels in.

BOWERS HEALEY: Between. And where did you do that? Drilling.

ZEHR: Green Bay, Wisconsin.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay, That's.

ZEHR: At the Naval Reserve Center. Green Bay.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. Tell me about what you remember about Kogut now that you were called up right away, but did it impact you and wherever you were working at the time?

ZEHR: Yeah. So COVID hit and work was changing completely, but they didn't know what to do. I was still a essential, so I was still going to work at the beginning of it.

BOWERS HEALEY: Yeah. I'm sorry. Were you working in phlebotomy or not? Yes, you were. Okay, go ahead.

ZEHR: So.

BOWERS HEALEY: So you were going to work even though the COVID restrictions were on.

ZEHR: Yes. And it was it affected. I mean, my dad's pilot, he didn't fly. I mean, it affected the kids, just stopped going to school. They I mean, it was it was a challenge. I mean, I had to homeschool my children and I had never done that. I don't have any knowledge and teaching by any means. I give teachers so much credit for what they do because it was so hard getting my kids to just sit down and get their schoolwork done. So that was definitely affected our lives very dramatically right away.

BOWERS HEALEY: So as far as you going to work each day, what sort of safety or protective gear were you required to wear?

ZEHR: We had to wear a 95 mask and a face shield, essentially, and then gloves. And they were trying to keep it out of the hospitals. So we were like, they would require COVID tests, everything like that.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And was that in March of 2020?

ZEHR: Yes.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. Yeah. And when did you get word that you were going to be called out?

ZEHR: The first week of April of 2020. So I got a phone call and I remember sitting there and people were starting to get activated. And here we have this world pandemic, and I recommend I'm a medic. Like, I started feeling that I really wanted to do something because this is kind of what you sign up for when it comes to the military, especially being on the medical side. So I really felt like I needed to go. I just kind of had this like want and need, but also scared. I mean, there was a lot of emotions, but I got the phone call on a Friday night at like 5 p.m.. They told me that I was getting activated and that I had been tagged for a deployment, a stateside deployment, and that I was leaving the next morning. So by 7 a.m. Saturday morning I was on a plane there leaving.

BOWERS HEALEY: What was your unit at that time?

ZEHR: I was with Great Lakes, so I was it's, um, EMS, which is Expeditionary Medical Facility, Great Lakes. So we build field hospitals and work out of them. So they and then I deployed with the unit EMS, Bethesda. So I was not with Great Lakes at the time. I ended up deploying with Bethesda.

BOWERS HEALEY: How many of your unit went to Bethesda?

ZEHR: Just one, myself and three others. So we had an officer who was a nurse. She went on the ship. We had another corpsman who went on the ship and then my the other. And then it was myself and another corpsman who went to work out of the field hospital out of the Javits Center. So we were all.

BOWERS HEALEY: Did you actually go to Bethesda or was that just the name?

ZEHR: Chose the name. Okay. We were in New York City, so I went from Appleton to New Jersey. I was at Fort Dix for a few days, and then they bused us from Fort Dix to New York City.

BOWERS HEALEY: What you do at Fort Dix?

ZEHR: We just did all of our like, paperwork. We went through a couple trainings. They called us with PowerPoint because they just sit and click all the PowerPoint. So it was mostly just like precautions and like teaching us like how to be safe in New York, how to not catch COVID, like how we what we were allowed to do, what we weren't allowed to do, where we could go. They gave us our like the blocks we could walk on. We only had like a four block area that we were allowed to go. So they just kind of like briefed us on all of that.

BOWERS HEALEY: Had you ever been to New York City before?

ZEHR: I had, but I was a kid, so it's a really long time. I didn't really have I have a couple of memories of the Statue of Liberty, but other than that, like, I didn't really remember much.

BOWERS HEALEY: But tell me about the Javits Center when you got there, What was what was set up? What wasn't set up? So.

ZEHR: We set up a four, but it was a 4000 bed field hospital and 48 hours. So that happened. And then we all started working and we had long days. At first we would work anywhere from like 12 to 16 hour days.

BOWERS HEALEY: Were you actually setting up tents?

ZEHR: I was not. Okay. But once I got there, we were like the whole side that we were working on was all set up. So once I got there, everyone had was in a bed. It was full and we had two different halves. So in the center of the Javits Center, like in there, what are they called? They're like Expo centers. So where they host, like different events and it's this huge, it's just like a big warehouse looking smaller. So we had two sides to the field hospital. The center was the showers and the bathrooms and they were mobile showers. So they came in. They had like a hitch on them to like pull them in and out. So we had probably ten showers and then the bathrooms. And then the other side was all beds and these curtains. So I remember walking. So to get into the area where we kept patients, you had to go through this whole like, put your mask on, put all your gear on. We needed a mask or a 95 or regular mask. We needed a face shield, a hairnet, booties for our feet and a gown and gloves. So we were completely covered. But they would spray us with this like citrus. It was a couple different ingredients mixed together, but they would like down us in this like disinfectant that.

BOWERS HEALEY: They made when you went in or when you came out of bowl.

ZEHR: So we would like get doused with this really strong smelling disinfectant and then we could go in. And once you walk in, I remember just like looking up and like seeing all of these beds and the first number of beds that I saw, which I thought this was super interesting. So my division number and boot camp was 9 to 9. The first bed number I saw walking into the Javits Center was 9 to 9. So it just really like right place, right time meant to be here, kind of a feeling. So I walk in and I see all these beds, I see all these patients, I see it just like all these curtains. And I just remember thinking like, Oh my gosh, like everything is full.

BOWERS HEALEY: So was it full when you got there? It was okay.

ZEHR: So every bed had a person in it and they were just separated by like metal rods and curtains. So it was really interesting. I honestly, I didn't know what to expect, didn't know what was going to happen. So when I got there and started working, I just remember how sick they were and how bad I felt because they were getting separated from their families. So the patients that I was helping, their family members could be in a hospital somewhere. They don't know really where everybody is. And there were patients with dementia and patients who didn't speak English. That is the most diverse group of people I've ever been around because it's New York City. So you kind of have this like every nationality, race, everything. So that was super interesting to me because we had to have these computers to translate these languages that like we had to have people that weren't in the military translating on the computer. So that way we could talk and discuss things with these people and they just you could tell they were scared. You could tell that they just didn't know what was going on.

BOWERS HEALEY: The people who were assisting were the translating or the patients.

ZEHR: The patients.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay.

ZEHR: So they were some of them were grumpy, some of them are not. I remember a couple of patients specifically that kind of laughed like an impact with me. And it just really I just like, genuinely felt bad. So I'm kind of our off time when we weren't checking their vitals or making like getting their oxygen tanks or whatever, or taking them to the shower or the bathroom. Like I would walk around and talk with the patients and just kind of like get to know them a little bit because they're separated from everybody they love and care about and they're by themselves in the hospital. And I just wanted to be there for them. So that was kind of like my main mission was to just make sure that they felt comfortable and were able to talk to someone. They weren't just alone in these like, curtained rooms, I guess.

BOWERS HEALEY: So you said there were a couple of patients that really stuck in your memory. Can you talk? More about that. Yeah.

ZEHR: There was this one lady. She. So their oxygen levels were so low that it was really hard for them to walk, so. But we needed them to get up and move. And that was kind of they didn't want to because they would get out of breath. I remember like they would stand up in their oxygen levels would be like in the eighties. So it just like really affected them. She was grumpy. She didn't want to go to the shower. I don't want to walk, I told her. So I came up with the solution. I said it was like, look, like if you push the wheelchair, I'll walk with you. And if you can't walk anymore, then you can sit in the wheelchair and then I'll push you the rest of the way. But I just want you to try. So if you need to lean on the wheelchair to walk, that's totally fine. She liked me. She was fine. So she walked as far as she could. And I remember she looked at me and she was just like, okay, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. So I said, okay. I was like, I'll push you the rest of the way. So her demeanor had changed. She had already kind of gotten a little more friendly. And so then I get her to the shower and they were supposed to have like I don't remember. It was a certain amount of minutes that they were allowed to shower and like be in the shower so everyone could get a shower. And she kind of just looked at me and she's like, I just want a long shower. And I was like, you know, like, I got a couple of things I got to do. I won't be back. Like, I'll come I'll come back for it. And she's like, Really? Yeah, of course it's fine. You know, I'll just take your shower. I get it. So she takes kind of a little bit longer of a shower and I come back to get her and she walks halfway back and then I pushed her the rest of the way and she sat on the bed and she was just like, Thank you so much. Like, thank you for listening to me. Thank you for helping me. Like, no one else would do that. They just would force us to do what they said. And she's like, I just really appreciate you like coming in here and like, being empathetic and like sitting and talking with these. Then she started asking about my kids and I was asking about her kids. And so it's just this really like I completely changed her demeanor and she was so happy and laughing and just to see this like grumpy lady turn into this, like, happy woman. And it was so rewarding to me.

BOWERS HEALEY: Being a non-medical person. You said 80 is so low. What is norm for oxygen?

ZEHR: So oxygen should be in between 100%. And I mean, 93, 94 is pushing low. So they were at like 89, 88. So if they wouldn't have had their oxygen tanks, that's it could be. It's definitely to be that low in their oxygen range.

BOWERS HEALEY: So you said you worked long hours. How long for your hours?

ZEHR: They were anywhere from 12 to 16 hours. We work three days and then get a day off. And then I did that and then they pulled me aside because I was a phlebotomist. And I did a research study, too, while I was in New York of they wanted they were trying to figure out how they could test people for COVID, and they wanted to know if they could, like there were any antigens within your blood, if you had had it or if you'd been around it. So they were doing these blood tests, and it was this whole research that's beyond my scope of knowledge. But from what I understood, it was just to see like antigens within our blood. If they were they had COVID or could build a protection against COVID, I guess. So I was a part of that research, which was super interesting. I drew probably like 400 people's blood between me and like four other Phlebotomists. So my name is actually on like the study. So if you Google search my name, that study pops up, but my name is on there. So I mean, it's kind of cool to be a part of that. Okay.

BOWERS HEALEY: Yeah. Have you read that research?

ZEHR: Some of it I don't really understand a lot of it. It's very detailed and very I mean, it's it's a lot, but I do have a printed out. I have it saved, so.

BOWERS HEALEY: Right. Okay. Well, you were at the Javits Center. Where was your billeting?

ZEHR: Like where I stayed or.

BOWERS HEALEY: Yes, where you stayed at night when you had 8 hours off or something?

ZEHR: We were at a hotel, so I was I think I was at the Marriott. So it was this really tall building. I was like 14 floors from the top so I could see out the streets like it was really I mean, it was really cool. My room was like tiny, tiny little room. We didn't have a washer dryer and washed my clothes in the tub and then dry them with a towel and lay them out. So I would alternate my uniforms so that way I could like because I'd only want to wear it once because it was like COVID and everything. So I'd wash it in the tub and then I'd like, roll it up, let it dry, use my neck, my other one the next day. And then I just kept rotating them out so I could have clean uniforms. So I remember we walked to the top like we went in the stairwell and went all the way up to the top and made it to the very, very top of the Skyscraper Hotel and looked out over like the Empire State Building and like the streets were completely dead. So, I mean, there is no cars, there's no people. Like everything was just shut down and nothing essentially. So it almost kind of reminded me of like an apocalyptic movie where there's not a soul. It's so quiet. But around 7 p.m. every day, the locals would open their windows and hit pots and pans and like cheer for the medical workers. So that was definitely a really cool experience. And then I just remember being up top and the only way we could really like get fresh air after a certain time was to go up to the top. And I started smoking because that was my excuse to get outside. So I was just kind of it was interesting that like you want to get fresh air, but most of the smokers were allowed to go out, but after a certain time, but then we weren't. So I just kind of picked up smoking just to get outside and get fresh air.

BOWERS HEALEY: So they weren't allowed to walk around down on the streets.

ZEHR: Not too much. We cut a little bit. We had like the four blocks we go to Target if we needed something and we could go to like a couple of little grocery stores, which the grocery stores are very interesting because they go like down into the ground, like they go down and then their shopping carts are very, very thin because the aisles to get all the aisles and these little grocery stores were like, are my shoulder to shoulder. Like you couldn't get two people down one aisle. So we would like go in there, get what we needed, come out the cart, fold. So you unfolded cart, little thin cart you can get like maybe. Ten things in the cart. So that was just very interesting. I've never gone grocery shopping like that before, but there was nobody in any of the places. Everything was just completely dead. I mean, you'd see maybe two or three people and then you had to keep your dress down. So we had to do like the 66 foot distance between each other.

BOWERS HEALEY: So I'm back here working at the Javits Center. How many of the folks working there were military and how many were nonmilitary?

ZEHR: We were all military. For the most part, it was Army, Air Force, Navy and then some. I forget what they're called there. They work there, not the military, but there are medical throughout all of the United States. I just don't recall what their what group they're with. But we were with them as well. So they were nonmilitary, but they were government workers.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. So and who did you report to or who gave you your assignments? Who kind of oversaw you?

ZEHR: So we were assigned different groups. So we all had a leading petty officer who was in charge of ten or 12 of us that would make sure. So we had different shifts. So the hospital was ran 24 seven. So we just had different working groups. And then we had our leadership within that group and then we would have to walk to work at like three in the morning.

BOWERS HEALEY: How far was that from the hotel?

ZEHR: You were probably like almost a 15 minute walk. So I just remember the homeless people like seeing them sleeping, like in these tents, like in between the buildings, this like really small space. And then they would make like makeshift tents with, like, tarps and, like, wet mattresses. And then I had one, like, kind of pop out of one of those little alleyways and, like, scare us. He thought it was funny. And then I had one, like, pull down his pants in front of us and just start going to the bathroom and they'd like, try to pee on us and stuff. So that was definitely who it was. They did not like us for whatever reason. They kept saying it was martial law and that we were coming to take over. And we just kept explaining that we're medics and we're there to help them. And if they mean anything, like we're here to help them, but we're not here to hurt anybody. Like, we didn't carry weapons. We weren't there to do any harm. We were all just there trying.

BOWERS HEALEY: So you were in your uniform when you were walking to and fro?

ZEHR: Yes, we had to be. We were only allowed in civilian clothes to walk to target. Otherwise, we were supposed to be in our uniform at all times.

BOWERS HEALEY: When you went to work from your hotel, did you usually go in groups?

ZEHR: Yes, there were a couple of times there was just one or two of us. I remember I had to walk to the Javits Center and from the Javits Center by myself at one point, which in New York City, it was very, very scary. It was just dark. And I just felt like vulnerable being a female walking down the streets. A couple of Navy people got jumped and robbed. There was one officer who got hit in the chest with a shower rod. So a guy was on a bike and he just went super fast and hit her in the chest with the shower rod and she went flying back. So they definitely I mean, people were not very friendly, to say the least. So the only people that really were friendly were like the ones in the hospital that we were working with our patients. So there was a lot of the like I felt that a lot of the like normal, appreciative people were at home in their house, like not going out, not doing anything. So that it just was different, I guess.

BOWERS HEALEY: So how long did you spend at the Javits Center?

ZEHR: I was there from. Like about six weeks. I was at the job.

BOWERS HEALEY: Six weeks.

ZEHR: Okay. And then I went from the Javits Center and I went to Portsmouth for a restriction of movement. So we called them Rams and we had to isolate in our hotel rooms and make sure like we had a COVID test one before we got there. And we had to COVID like to be able to leave New York City. We had to get a COVID test to get to Fort. Once we got to Portsmouth, we got another COVID test to leave Portsmouth about a month later, three weeks later was another COVID test. So we were just I was like kind of isolated in this hotel room where we weren't allowed to, like, go in each other's hotel rooms. We weren't allowed to really hang out. We could go outside and walk around, but we had to keep a distance from each other. So I mean, we really felt like a disconnect, like a human connection just wasn't really there. So that was probably the longest like three weeks of my life because I was just sitting in a hotel with like, nothing to do. We couldn't go to the gym, we couldn't go anywhere. We weren't allowed out in town. Like we just weren't allowed to do anything. So that was definitely difficult.

BOWERS HEALEY: Let me go back to the Javits Center. You said there were about £4,000 and at one time they were all full or mostly all full. Can you talk about or do you want to talk about the outcomes for some of the patients?

ZEHR: We did have some deaths. There are definitely deaths. I think it was portrayed differently through our media, which actually being there. That was pretty frustrating seeing that. Um, but we did have people die. It you could only do so much. And then I think the hardest part for me was they would just. Once we were done with them or once we had given them all that we cut for their care, they would kind of just throw them back out to the streets for them to kind of fend for themselves. So we didn't really like help them after much. So that was pretty that was hard.

BOWERS HEALEY: Um, you said the media didn't portray what was going on correctly. How so? And where did you see the media?

ZEHR: So they were showing freezer trucks in New York City and ours were empty, but they portrayed them to be full. So it was like disheartening, I guess, that they were it was like a feat like based off of like trying to make people scared, I think, which was it was very serious. And there were a lot of very sick people and people died and we saw deaths and we saw all that, but it wasn't what they had. Like, if you would have been in a different state watching the news, you wouldn't have known that. You would have thought it was something completely different. Okay.

BOWERS HEALEY: Give me just a second to collect my thoughts here. And I'm not sure that I can remember what I'm just going to ask you about. Okay. So you mentioned the restriction of movements. How did you. Well, I know one of the just minor things. You spent some pretty long hours at the Javits Center. Where did you eat when you had time to eat? And what did you eat? Not the specifics, but were you did they do a chow fall or are you eating a hospital food or just what.

ZEHR: I can remember, we would get a half an hour for lunch where we could like we could walk outside. They had food trucks outside of the Javits. Okay, for us. They also people would give us free food, so they'd bring food for us. And then we could go to like the little markets that they were open, but they didn't really like us to do that. So we kind of at some point weren't allowed to do that anymore. So mostly I think I just aid off the food trucks and then I remember sometimes for my half an hour, I was just so tired. I would just like grab my backpack and just fall asleep and like this little makeshift locker room they made for us. I'd just, like, curl up on the floor and I'll sleep because I was so tired. But we did get a lot of free stuff. People brought us leggings and masks and these, like, awesome little, like, things that wrap around your neck to hold the mask because we were all raw in our ears. So my ears bleeding like from the back. So the masks, though, 95 were so tight that like I would just rub and cut your ear. So we had like all of us were just like, sore and they wouldn't heal because I'm my mask back. So I had some friends and family from back home, um, crocheting those. They had two buttons on them and they were just these long and they just went around your neck and you hooked your mask to it so you don't have to mask behind your ears anymore. So that was definitely I was so thankful when we got those in the mail. I only got a bunch of those and the handmade masks were my favorite. I appreciated all the fun patterns of fabric and I mean, people really went out of their way to help us when they were.

BOWERS HEALEY: You want to wear handmade masks where you're at the Javits Center?

ZEHR: We could, but we had to wear them like over in 95, and then we'd have to throw them away after. So we couldn't use them, but we tried to throw them away.

BOWERS HEALEY: So, um, media around the Javits Center, did you encounter media?

ZEHR: A couple of times I had people walk up to me and kind of stick a microphone in my face and I just had to say no comment. We weren't allowed to say like how many patients we had. We weren't allowed to talk about the beds or the deaths. We weren't allowed to talk about any of it. So we had to be really, really careful. The only time we were allowed to talk to the media is if it was set up by our command or by anybody, but they didn't want us talking to anyone, so we just would walk right past them.

BOWERS HEALEY: But so who gave you the instruction concerning how to deal with the media?

ZEHR: There is an officer who was in charge of the Javits Center. He's the the calm skipper. So he was the skipper of the first EMS Bethesda. So he kind of like guided us through that. And then there was also people above him that kind of like regulated all that stuff.

BOWERS HEALEY: So. Okay. Okay. And you talked about having to throw away the masks at the end of the day. Did you all where's the Javits Center in terms of the medical people, a requirement for you? Did you always have enough equipment and mass and that sort of thing?

ZEHR: We did. We always had enough. In 95 we could use the same and 95 for three or four days, so we would use the same one. We put it in this little paper bag and would write our name on it and then we'd stick it In this on these shelves, there are probably hundreds of these little paper bags, and then you'd have to like, dig through them to find your own to go back in. And I remember coming out of the Javits Center, they had kitty pools like those blue, like one foot tall kiddy pools filled with bleach water. And we had to step in bleach water and then we had to step in regular water. And then we had to step on the ground to dry our feet. And that was the only way we were allowed to go out. And then they doused us with that disinfectant again.

BOWERS HEALEY: Bleach water issues on or. Okay, yeah.

ZEHR: Yeah. So that was interesting. So you just had to like different feet and that's like bleach water. And I remember I had black shoes and the fabric around the top of the black shoe ended up getting bleached. So I ended up throwing I threw them away as soon as we left New York. Anyways, I was like, Oh.

BOWERS HEALEY: I don't think.

ZEHR: She was okay, So.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. I think that's all I've got to ask about your Javits Javits Center experience. Is there anything else you can think of that you that we may not have talked about? Um.

ZEHR: No. That was pretty much my experience there.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. How did you get from New York City to New Jersey?

ZEHR: We flew Mil air, so we flew. It's like military aircraft, but it was, I don't know, airplanes, but it was like your regular airplane. It just is unmarked and had a bunch of military people in it and military pilots. So they flew from New York to Portsmouth State. And Portsmouth had our round. And then from Portsmouth it went to Great Lakes and worked in Great Lakes after that.

BOWERS HEALEY: So. Oh, you weren't released from active duty. You went to Great Lakes, what you do at Great Lakes.

ZEHR: So at Great Lakes, when we got there, we had so they wouldn't allow recruits into boot camp right away. So they would come to they had to do the restriction of movement as well. So they had to spend two weeks in a hotel room so they would come to these hotels and we would COVID test them and then we would put them in these rooms. There were like 3 to 4 recruits per hotel room, and we had occupied 12 hotels and Gurnee, Illinois, Great Lakes area. So what I did once I got there was I covered. I was COVID testing recruits. I was dealing with like mental health. We would I would walk around with the behavioral health technicians who are also corpsman and kind of like see how they were doing, see if their mental health was okay. We had a lot that ended up not being okay and wanting to leave. So we had a whole process where we would have to sit with them until they were able to go. And it was interesting.

BOWERS HEALEY: To go to leave the service.

ZEHR: Yeah, but then they end up on in a different building and then they end up on hold until they're mentally okay and then they send them home, which can actually end up taking longer than just getting through boot camp. And I was trying to explain that to some of them. I told them, I said, look like if you just push through, like if you just go, you'll get to leave here sooner than if you say that you're not mentally stable. Some of them were not mentally stable and then some of them, I think, are just kind of playing the card to get out of the service. Um, tweeted that and I just like talked to, worked with recruits every day. We still were in our full gear, so I still was wearing a mask and a suit whenever we'd go into the rooms for the COVID testing. But that was in yeah, that was what we did in Great Lakes. We stayed at the Navy Lodge when we were there, so, um, we weren't allowed to go do anything. We weren't allowed to leave. We weren't allowed to go out. We weren't allowed to like, we could go get food if we wanted to, but we just weren't allowed to do anything. We were on very strict guidelines. They didn't they My parents lived in I lived in my kids for only like two and a half hours away and I couldn't go see them.

BOWERS HEALEY: How did you communicate with them?

ZEHR: I talked to them through face time, and then my parents brought my kids down a couple of times to come see me. And then I got permission one time to go home and see my kids. Okay.

BOWERS HEALEY: May I ask, throughout this whole active duty, both at Great Lakes and at the Javits Center and also in New Jersey or Portsmouth, Uh, did any of your coworkers come down with COVID?

ZEHR: Um, I never personally did. The people that I was around, a couple did, but not many. We all got COVID once we got home, which was super weird, but we didn't I didn't ever catch it at all. It was on orders.

BOWERS HEALEY: So when did you get discharged from Great Lakes?

ZEHR: Well, we went.

BOWERS HEALEY: Or did you go somewhere else?

ZEHR: You hunt somewhere else. After that we went to Fort McCoy after that. So then I was in Fort McCoy. I got off orders at the end of October of 2020.

BOWERS HEALEY: So you were in an active duty status for eight months. Seven, seven months, Months.

ZEHR: Yeah.

BOWERS HEALEY: And you said you got COVID when you came back. You were actually back in, Nina. I was okay.

ZEHR: Then, like two weeks of being home, I got COVID. So I just.

BOWERS HEALEY: Any day where you got it from.

ZEHR: Yeah.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. I have no idea. You go back to work.

ZEHR: I did not. I was starting fulltime school in January.

BOWERS HEALEY: Starting when? I'm sorry, full.

ZEHR: Time school in January. So I just didn't go back to work at the time, so.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. Were your kids still being homeschooled or were they back in school or.

ZEHR: Oh, I don't remember when they went back to school. I think they weren't. They were back because it was the start of the new school year and they were back, but they had to wear masks, so they had to homeschooled from March to June of 2020. And then they went back to school in the fall. But they just had to wear masks. And it was a whole different life world for the kids and for everybody back home. And so then kind of that readjustment back home as well is very it was interesting just kind of being around the military again. So I had spent a year of my time, my life away from my family in total, and I got used to that. And the military lifestyle and just coming back home to civilian life was kind of difficult, too.

BOWERS HEALEY: So your children stayed with your parents. You mentioned that your parents both work. So was there daycare for them or just what?

ZEHR: Well, when COVID hit, they weren't working, so I was that. But then I got back. By the time they were back in school and things started picking up. So for the most part, while I was gone, they were just home.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. You mentioned you were going to start. Did you start school or not? I did.

ZEHR: Yeah. So I started in January of 21 for my criminal Justice associate's degree, which I just graduated December 22 with my associate's degree. And now I am currently attending UW Madison for my bachelors in business with a major in Human Resources.

BOWERS HEALEY: And are you doing that by correspondence or how are you doing that?

ZEHR: I do it online.

BOWERS HEALEY: Yeah, I'm online. Okay. Are you able to take benefit, take advantage of military educational benefits? Yes.

ZEHR: Okay. I get 60% of my G.I. Bill for all my active duty time. So I get money per month and then they pay for 60% of my classes. So that's been wonderful. I'm very thankful for that.

BOWERS HEALEY: And when are you targeted to graduate? If you know.

ZEHR: December of 2025, I got a little better, but I didn't take any breaks. So my only break that I'll have from college is next summer. Otherwise, we went straight through. So, okay, I work full time work school, full time single mom. It's a lot, but I'm pushing through.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. And you're still in the reserves? Yup. Okay. And can you describe what you do, what you continue to do in the reserves and where you drill?

ZEHR: So I still drill out of Green Bay. When I go to drill, I still continue to draw blood. I go through medical records. I, um. I've been on last annual training. I was in Green Bay, like, sorting through medical records. I helped keep the Navy Reserve centered at medical status. So that way, like, if we have 90% or more medical completion for all of our sailors, like, it looks really good for the nurses. So I definitely, like, work full time corpsman there to kind of accomplish that. And we do medical stand downs where we do medical and dental reviews for every reservist. So that's a whole weekend and that's a lot I have done. Combat casualty care, your tactical combat casualty care training courses where I teach that they're reservist like basic combat medical skills so they know how to put on a tourniquet and done all kinds of different things. So we just keep up on our trainings and we stay in touch. So the way our units work is we're attached to different units across the United States. So right now I'm with Navy cargo holding Battalion five, but then the other reservists surrounding me or in all different units. So we're not all in the same unit, but we're in the same unit at the NRC. But if we were to deploy or do anything, we all have different units that we do that with. So this is a little different than other reserve centers, I think.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. So. You mentioned you're a full time worker. You want to talk about where you're currently working and what you do.

ZEHR: Yeah. So I work for Ben Shot. We make glasses with bullets in the side. Um, so how I got this job actually was a woman's veteran event. So? So my friend Ryan, he invited me to an all women's veteran event here to make the glasses. So we host such an event for the veterans to come in and make the glass. We eat with them, break bread with them, like we just hang out, make it fun. They make glass. It's just like a good way for veterans to come together. So I came here for that, and one of the workers had just mentioned that they were looking for a social media person. So I emailed Ben, the owner, a couple of days after the event, and I came in for an interview and he hired me a couple of days later and I've been here for about eight months now. Okay, so this job definitely saved my life. Like I was in a really bad spot when I first went to the event. I almost didn't go because I just wasn't up for it. I just that my anxiety like everything else, was just kind of I didn't know anybody. I wasn't I was just going to be around all these strange women. But then once I got here, like, everybody was so good to me and so kind and like, that's really pushed me to kind of become more of the veteran, to be a part of the veteran community and to kind of like put myself out there for more events and to do those things. And Ben actually allows me to go to different veteran events where I donate glasses to the veterans. So it's just been a godsend, just like this job has been absolutely amazing for me.

BOWERS HEALEY: So I know there's website with Ben Shotgun, but can you talk a little bit about what type of glasses they make or develop?

ZEHR: Yeah, So we embed bullets in the side, so we have a process that you heat the glass up and then use torch you up the glass essentially. And then once the glass cools, then they epoxy the investment into the side. So it looks like the bullet is like going through the glass. We do golf balls, baseball, we have guitar picks, fire axes, throwing axes, like we have all kinds of investments that we put in glass. So it's pretty close to a lot of wholesale opportunities. We do custom etching so you can get pretty much anything you want etched on the side of the glass. So I run our social media pages, so I do Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, all of the major links. Yeah, LinkedIn. And so I kind of run those sites. And then I also have started doing some kind of like human resources tasks until I graduate. So once I graduate, I hope to move into a role here.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. Um, you said you've gotten more involved in the veteran community since you come to work event. What sort of you mentioned some of the things. Who do you get together with? Is it informal or do you go to more organized things like VFW, American Legion? Or is young people, old people? What sort of connections have you made with that community?

ZEHR: So I have gone to the I Am Not Invisible campaign for women veterans to kind of put ourselves out there because women veterans kind of get like pushed to the side. We are noticed, I feel like as much as men are. So I went to that, which was super rewarding, and I was able to work with Manitowoc County veterans, and I got close with the woman veteran who runs Manitowoc County Veterans. So that's been awesome. She's been really a good person as a friend and as a connection to other veterans. Um, I went on Friday to UW Madison and I worked with the back center and I was able to kind of like discuss veterans and their readjustment period and like what veterans go through when we come home or when we have trauma or like what we deal with. So that was a really good source to learn that we have this that center through the VA that has all these resources to help us, especially being a veteran who's like gone through trauma and had that happen, it was definitely like very rewarding to go be around other veterans who have gone through similar things. So that is something that I'm like really thankful for and that's all from work working here.

BOWERS HEALEY: So okay, you mentioned you've gone through trauma. Is that something you want to talk more about or not? Yeah, we can. Okay.

ZEHR: So when I was on orders in Great Lakes, I had been assaulted. And for the lighting come forward. For a couple of years it was I went through the whole grieving, almost grieving process and struggling and like you put it in the back of your mind, like it just didn't happen. And then I finally hit rock bottom where I was really struggling and like, I just didn't feel right and I needed to come out and talk about it. So it talking about mestizo, military sexual trauma isn't something I don't think that's openly discussed as much as it probably should be. I will say that I am very impressed with how the Navy has handled the situation. They have gone out of their way to make sure I am okay. They have someone call me once a month to update me on everything. Misty is definitely changing in the military. I think that it is being taken more seriously, which I definitely like coming from that trauma. I appreciate because I think there was a time where women it just it was like brushed under the rug or under the table. Like it just didn't happen. So I think that being able to openly talk about it and having the military like be there for me as much as they could be was it was awesome to see. So like, even though this is like a really hard thing to go through, it's something that I don't wish on any other woman in the military. I'm definitely thankful that the Navy has like changed their protocol and their procedures for this. Okay.

BOWERS HEALEY: Do you recall why was it that you didn't report it right away?

ZEHR: I blamed myself for the longest time. Somehow I just felt like it was my fault. I couldn't process. I just couldn't process what had happened. It happened. I froze. My body just froze. So you either fight flight or freeze, and my body froze. So I felt like it was my fault. Like, if my body froze, then that's my fault. But it's not. And I had to learn that and talk to people. And there was actually a resource that had come through at our research center that was talking about coming forward and our resources and how it's okay and they're there for us and here's how we can help you. And she just gave such a wonderful speech that I within that next day, I really I went up to her. I asked her a couple of questions. I held on to it for a couple more months. And then I went in and I reported it and talked with our super person, which is like sexual assault prevention resource, I think.

BOWERS HEALEY: Before the sexual trauma occurred. Had you been had the Navy given you any classes or information as to what to do?

ZEHR: They do. It's pretty brief. It's like a thousand PowerPoints where you're just like bored to death. I mean, it's just not it's not personable. It's not like they just kind of throw it out there like, oh, sexual trauma is a bad thing. Like you don't to sexually assault people, essentially. And so it just kind of like that didn't I mean, the trainings are there but they don't really like. It took a civilian coming in with all these resources and like openly talking about it. And that's where I.

BOWERS HEALEY: Finally was able oh, the person was a civilian, but it was.

ZEHR: She helps military people, men and women who've gone through sexual trauma. She has, like all our resources. What like where to go, how to get help, like who to talk to, what we what our next steps are like. She was wonderful. So.

BOWERS HEALEY: So she was somebody hired by the Navy to come in and talk? Yeah. Okay.

ZEHR: Yeah, it is better than it was. That was kind of a newer thing in the last couple of years, I think. So I came forward about a year ago. Yeah, it has been a year. So I.

BOWERS HEALEY: Okay. Well, you're still on active or not Active duty. Reserve duty. You're going to school working on your bachelor's degree and you're employed and you have a goal in mind. Anything else that you have in mind or where do you envision yourself being two years from now? Four years from now? Um.

ZEHR: I really want to continue down like the human resource. I really want to be in human resources. I think like my military experience, like going through a trauma, like all that stuff, like I'm very passionate about, like keeping people safe and like, having an area where I can then help people talk through some of this stuff. Because H.R. is usually where people go when there's problem or they've been sexually harassed or whatever. So I think I'm going to be able to grow in that position and really like be able to do some of the amazing things with that. So I want to continue down that and I want to be a good mom. I'm officially a soccer mom. My kids are both in soccer, so it's just funny. I just want to give them the best life that they deserve. And I want to keep going to veteran events and being there for veterans and keep working my way up in the veteran community just to help out or really eventually would love to help other women who have gone through sexual trauma and help them become strong and be able to talk about it. That's super important to me. So I think that that's something eventually when I'm ready, that I want to be able to kind of like put myself out there and be able to do that. So.

BOWERS HEALEY: All right. Um, I want to thank you for what you've said already, but I do want to give you one other one more opportunity. Is there anything else that you would like to add to this oral history?

ZEHR: Um, no, I think.

BOWERS HEALEY: Recovery is okay.

ZEHR: For both. So.

BOWERS HEALEY: And you're one of the few that I've ever interviewed that is still on active duty or still in a reserve status. So your military service is not complete at this time, and I'm not sure when it's going to be complete, but you may want to come back and continue and, you know, just do a follow up for where you are five years from now or whatever. Yeah. So. Well, I'm glad you heard about the I am not invisible and that you took time to sit down with us now. I thank you for doing that as well as for your service. Incredible. To be at the Javits Center.

ZEHR: Yeah, absolutely. Definitely. Thank you so much.

BOWERS HEALEY: Thank you.

[Interview Ends]